Mystery Science Theater 3001
Episode 3007: "Divine Passion"
MSTed by the Placid Jack Acid


In the not-too-distant future,
Somewhere up overhead:
Mike Nelson beats all the odds,
Because he isn't dead...
Pursued by a woman, whose name is Pearl,
A twisted, sadistic, sort of girl,
She's mad Mike's mind isn't whacked,
So she decided to try a different tact!

Pearl: I'LL... GET... *YOU*!!!

"I'll send him lousy web posts,
The worst he's ever seen!
He'll have to sit and read them all,
And keep his comments clean!"

Now keep in mind, Mike has to read,
Whatever Pearl sends;
He'll try to keep his sanity,
With the help of his robot friends!

>>Robot Roll Call <<

Cambot! (Check those lights!)
Gypsy! (Oh my goodness!)
Tom Servo (My god, I'm handsome!)
Crooow! (Sure, Servo, sure!)

If you're wondering why Mike *has* to read,
And other useless facts,
Just repeat to yourself 'it's just a post,
I should really just relax!' For...

Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand!

Crow:  And one!


The article MSTed within is copyrighted to Chan Wei Lik. He is quite
welcome to it. No insult is intended, it just seems that way...
Any random mention of characters, songs, movies, and the like belong to
their respective owners. All rights Reserved.


[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]


   "Well helloooooo, nurse!" Crow jumped into Cambot's view. "And welcome to
another extra-special episode of MST3001..." Crow's attention was suddenly
caught by the flashing red responder button. "Jeez, Pearl didn't even give
us a chance to goof around this time. Yes, oh
milquetoast one?" Crow nudged the button with his claw.

[Castle Forrester]

   The Observer was not happy. "I am only slightly impressed at your limited
vocabulary, little gold one. I'm afraid I have a request to make of you..."
   *" What? You're out of white makeup? And is it really that important? I
mean, Mike's not even out of the shower yet and Servo's still putting in his
contacts! And it's not time for movie sign..."*
   "No, for once I'm not calling movie sign today, at least not yet. As you
surly must of notice with even your very primitive senses, this is present
day Earth. Pearl has made it quite clear that you remain undiscovered by the
Earth's authorities lest they try and help you and ruin her experiments. And
I sense that your Satellite of Love is being scanned by an unexpected
outside power. I need you to use your sensors and determine where this scan
originates from."
   *"Wait a minute here... YOU'RE *omniscient*. Why can't you just...?"*
   "Because Pearl wants to sleep in, Bobo is useless, and I'm late for a
manicurist oppointment!" The Observer snarled. "Do you truly believe I have
time to do everything?! I have a life too, you know! Just find out where the
scan is coming from and stop it! And, your movie today is a Ah! My Goddess!
Lemon that I will be more than happy to send you as soon as the scan is
interrupted. End of discussion!"

[SOL Bridge]

   "Swell..." Crow didn't have the slightest idea what to do. Gypsy was the
one who handled all of the SoL sensors, and she was fast asleep, having
promised to cripple anyone who interrupted her full eight-hours of beauty
rest. "Oh man, oh man. What do I do? What would Mike do?" Crow puzzled this
over until it struck him. "OW! The damn Nanoscope wasn't put away right...
THAT'S IT!! The Nanites!" Crow looked into the viewfinder.
   "Come in, Nanites!"

[Nanite World]

   Ned the Nanite was groggy and pissed. "What the hell? It's six in freaking
morning and the sign says 'open 7-11'. How much more plainly do we have to
make it? WE ARE NOT OPEN YET!"
   *"Oh, sorry, guys..."* Crow said apologetically.
   "It'd better be good." Ned yawned.
   *Well, there some sort of scan coming from the planet below us. Could you,
like, stop it without destroying anything?"*
   "Is that all?"

[Modern day Japan]

   In all her twenty thousand yearsplus , she had never had an opportunity
like this before.
   The prototype satellite the old Gizmonic Institute sent up in the '80's for
gods knew what kind of research had always been a sort of a hobby with her.
She had even designed some the systems and interior during her internship
with Gizmonic those many years ago. She was baffled as everyone else when
the satellite, which had remained in orbit long after the Institute went
belly up, had detached from its moorings and broken free of Earth orbit
several years ago. It was headed on a course that should have taken it to
the very edge of the universe, never to be seen again...
   And yet, somehow, it was here, back in orbit. Almost as if nothing
happened.
   Washu Hakubi leaned back from the view scope and rubbed her eyes. If she
could only study it up close! Imagine the secrets it must hold to have
returned from the very edge of existence itself! And, she reasoned with a
sly grin, it would get her name in the newspaper. She liked that.
   Ok, girl, time to get back to work. You don't get to be the greatest mind
in the galaxy by not taking opportunities like this, you know. Best to study
it while it's overhead, where her scanners could pick up the most data. She
glanced down at her watch, to calculate how long the satellite would
actually stay in range.
   Her watch was gone!
   "What the..." Washu was sure she had put it on this morning...
   Then again, she had also put on her clothes, too!
   "Ahhh!" The more startled than modest Washu, now clad only in her
underwear, suddenly stood up-- what was going on here?!
   Washu disappeared completely. The lab's sensors detected that no one was in
the lab, and automatically shut down all nonessential procedures. The scan
from the planet Earth ceased.

[SOL Bridge]

   "Yeah, that's all I want you to do..." Crow replied.
   "AHHH!!!" Washu phased back into existence behind Crow, once again fully
clothed. Crow ever so slowly turned his head around and stared at Washu.
Washu stared back. He then turned his head back to the viewfinder. He opened
his mouth. "..."
   *"Now, this is what you asked for, isn't it?"* Ned was firm. *"She was the
one who was scanning you guys, so we took her apart and carried her up here,
molecule by molecule, and then put her back together again."*
   "But..." Crow began.
   *"She isn't scanning you anymore, is she? Either that or I could have blown
up the planet and hope I got her in the process. But YOU didn't want that,
did you, Mr. Smarty-pants?"*
   "Guess he's got me there..." Crow pushed the magnifier away and looked back
at Washu. "Umm... How do you do? Hey, I'm a big fan of Tenchi!"
   "Huh? What is this? Where am I? Who are you? And WHERE THE HELL'S MY
WRISTWATCH?!" Washu whirled around as she felt the tap on her shoulder.
   Mike, Tom, and Gypsy stood there, mouths agape. Finally, Mike recovered
enough to say:
   "Is this it?" He held up her watch.
   Before Washu could reply, the room shook, the lights flashed, and Mike
said, "Crow! You have some explaining to do! But for now, WE HAVE LEMON
SIGN!!!


[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, THEATER]


(Mike and the Bots, ever so gentlemanly, allow Washu to pass first and sit
down in the seat left of Servo's. Then they sit down, as usual.)

Washu: Could someone tell me what's going on?
Tom:   Don't worry, you'll catch on.
Mike:  And eventually, you'll learn to live with it.
Crow:  Washu, this is Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and I'm Crow T. Robot.
Washu: Charmed, I'm sure.
Mike:  Likewise!


>From:    Chan Wei Lik weimin@pl.jaring.my


Tom:   (singing) Shake the hand...
Crow:  (singing) That shook the hand...
Tom:   (singing) Of P. T. Barnum...
Crow:  (singing) And Wei Lik, Chan!
Washu: (to Mike) Why are they doing that?
Mike:  It's sort of what we do...
Tom:   Feel free to join in, Washu!


>Ah! My Goddess:


Tom and Crow: IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA!


>Divine Passion
>By Chan Wei Lik
>A LEMON fanfic (You've been warned!)


Washu: What's a 'lemon'?
Mike:  Does the word 'Hentai' mean anything to you?
Washu: Oh, NO...


>             -------


Crow:  Quick! Make a dash for it!


>"What am I doing?!" Belldandy said in frustration.


Tom:   (as Belldandy) What am I doing, appearing in this lemon?!


>  Gently- she always did things gently-


Crow:  Except picking her nose and mud wrestling nude.
Mike:  And stuffing bodies into suitcases...


>she put away her stitching. Then Belldandy thought about her situation.
>Here she was, a goddess on the mortal realm,


Washu: And she *still* couldn't get a date for the night!
Tom:   I think I'm gonna like her, Mike...
Washu: (giggles) Why, thank you!


>all because of Keiichi-san, the one man she loved. And yet, she was quietly
>stitching away while Keiichi-san spent his nights alone!


Crow:  Now, if only it would STAY that way...


>She was supposed to be with him forever, besides, she wanted to be with
>him. Belldandy sighed and got up.


Tom:   Craaack!
Mike:  (as Belldandy) Ah! My Spine!


>The situation would have to be changed...


Washu: Or she WOULD go on strike!


>Keiichi was lying on his futon and flipping through some of his books when
>Belldandy opened the door.


Tom:   (As Keiichi) Hi, big daddy... I mean, heh, heh, Belldandy...
Crow:  Yeah, I wonder just what *kind* of books he was flipping through.


>"Can I come in please, Keiichi-san?" she asked.
>"Huh..... of course," Keiichi told her, "What brings you here tonight,
>Belldandy?" he asked.


Mike:  (as Belldandy) My feet, what else?


>"Well.... I was feeling lonely. I wanted to be with you.


Washu: (as Belldandy) I'm *that* desperate!


>May I, Keiichi-san?" Belldandy said as she sat down next to him.


Crow:  No, he didn't say 'Simon says'.


>"Most definitely Belldandy, there's no one else I'd rather be with."


Tom:   (as Keiichi) Well, except maybe myself...


>Keiichi put away his books, "I can handle these another time."


Crow:  He's thinking of something else that he can handle.


>and he smiled at her some more, "We seldom get to spend time together like
>this. Just the two of us, it's so peaceful."


Washu: (as Keiichi) ... that, and the guy who keeps peeking in on us.
Crow:  I think I'm in love.


>"Yes, I am so glad just to be with you, Keiichi-san!" Belldandy agreed. She
>rested her head on his shoulder, sighed and closed her eyes. Keiichi put an
>arm around her and held her close.
>For a long while, both of them were silent, just resting in each other's
>company.


Tom:   They were resting inside each other?
Mike:  (as Keiichi) Ah! My Goddess is hollow!


>"We should spend more time together. Tomorrow is Saturday, How about a
>date? Just you and I." Keiichi finally asked her.
>Belldandy nodded happily, "Yes, that would be great." then she asked him,
>"Do you still remember our first date, Keiichi-san?"


Crow:  (as Keiichi) Sure, sure. Can you take off your dress now?


>"Of course I do." Keiichi answered her, "It was the most unforgettable
>moment of my life." he patted her shoulder lightly, "I'll never forget our
>first kiss. Floating above the waves like that.


Tom:   Ah, ha, ha, ha, WIPEOUT!!


>That was my first kiss you know. It was magical- to say the least." he
>smiled, fondly recalling the moment.


Washu: (as Keiichi) My *only* kiss, come to think of it... what gives?!


>"It was my first kiss also, Keiichi-san." Belldandy told him, "And
>afterwards, I remember the feeling of warmth and serenity." she had a
>faraway look,


Crow:  Not an out of the ordinary look for her.


>remembering that moment too, "It's been a long time but.... can we kiss
>again?" she asked him.
>He looked at her straight in the eyes,


Mike:  (as Keiichi) "No."


>"Of course."
>Belldandy closed her eyes and lifted her head from his shoulder. They felt
>their lips brush against each other and fell into a lingering kiss. Both
>remembered how they felt when they kissed before.


Washu: (as Belldandy) Nausea isn't so bad this time... good!
Tom:   (as Keiichi) AHHHH! That thing in my pants is growing again!


>I.... I want more, Belldandy felt within herself.


Crow:  YEEE-HAAA!!! The lemon has begun!!
Mike:  Crow...
Washu: Is he always like that?
Mike:  No, only when he's not asleep.


>Keiichi was startled when Belldandy stuck her tongue into his mouth, what
>is she doing? he wondered.


Tom:   Simple. SHE IS STICKING HER TONGUE INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!!
Washu: Can't get more straightforward than that.
Crow:  What is *wrong* with this guy?
Mike:  I guess those magazines didn't explain enough.


>    But he quickly recovered and reciprocated, sticking his tongue into her
>mouth and exploring. Eagerly, their tongues danced in each other's mouths.
>Belldandy felt her whole body tingle in response, it was wonderful.


Crow:  As it turned out, she had just backed into an electrical outlet.


>She moaned softly at the feeling, it wasn't new to her, but it had never
>been so intense before....
>She could feel his body respond to her kiss,


Mike:  (as Belldandy) Keiichi?! What's this thing sticking out of your
torso?!
Tom:   Prepare for a crash course on the facts of life, Bell.


>the way he shivered against her, how his breath became ragged, it excited
>her. Not knowing why, she started running her hands along his back. It's so
>smooth, she thought, and firm....


Washu: (as Belldandy) Oh sorry! Felt the bedpost by mistake!


>What's she doing now? Keiichi wondered. In response, he hugged her ever so
>closer to himself, feeling her body. She's soft, he thought, I better be
>gentle or I might hurt her.... Now Belldandy was drawing her
>hands along his flanks. On her body, Keiichi was doing the same.


Tom:   Keiichi's a girl?
Crow:  YES! (starts head-banging)
Washu: Ick.


>As he moved up her ribs, Belldandy felt her tingling intensify. Suddenly
>Keiichi broke the kiss, but his hands still stayed on her >breasts.
>He looked at Belldandy apprehensively, "Wha.... what are we doing?"


Washu: (as Belldandy) Making out, stupid!


>he asked her, "Is it right?"


Tom:   Is it safe?


>Belldandy smiled and nodded, "It's aright." she assured him


Mike:  (as Belldandy) I'm saved by the bell!


>and leaned forwards to kiss him again.
>Keiichi stayed back, "Wait..... wait......" he stopped her, "we might be
>disturbed....."


Washu: I'll say...
Crow:  Disturbed in the head!


>"I understand, allow me." Belldandy put her hands together and uttered
>a spell, a blanket of silence descended over the room, "We won't be
>disturbed now."
>
>                                        -------


Crow:  Must be Morse code for "suck".
Tom:   Maybe "blow".


>Soon, they were naked before each other.


Mike:  Race to see who can undress first! Tonight, on ESPN 2!


>Belldandy spread herself to give Keiichi a full view of her naked body. His
>gaze traveled from her lovely face.... to her well-rounded
>breasts, topped by cute nipples and aureole.... down the smooth white skin
>of her body....


Washu:  To sum up: Pale, moist, and sorta lumpy.


>to her mound, lightly covered by a thin layer of gold-blonde hair....
>Keiichi was speechless, her body was perfectly shaped and so breathtakingly
>beautiful.


Crow:  He really loves that inflatable doll...
Tom:   Looks and feels so real!
Mike:  Guys, there's a lady present...
Washu: Oh, don't stop them! They're so funny!


>And there seemed to be a soft glow emanating from her, it made him feel
>warm and comfortable.


Washu: I wouldn't. Looks like she's got radiation poisoning!


>Belldandy looked at him intently, awaiting his reaction to the sight....


Mike:  (flips his bottom lips with his forefinger) BlweeblweeblweeeBwlee!


>"My goddess...... You're so beautiful...." Keiichi finally stammered,
>somewhat embarrassed at the moment.


Tom:   (as Keiichi) Damn! I always hoped she was secretly a shemale!


>"Thank you Keiichi-san," Belldandy said smiling, not a bit shy although she
>wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Belldandy took a deep breath, which
>enhanced her lovely breasts.... and aroused Keiichi even more.


Mike:  I'm not going to even touch that one...
Washu: I bet she wishes she didn't have to, either!
Tom:   (snickers)


>He returned his hands to her breasts and caressed them, then he ran his
>fingers across her nipples. They're warm, Keiichi thought, and so soft and
>smooth.....


Washu: Hmmmph. I'll bet an hour or so later, he'll STILL be playing with
them.
Mike:  Men can't help it, Washu. They're just so... neat!
Washu: Puh-LEEZE.
Bots:  (bigsweating) ...


>Belldandy moaned, her body shivered and tingled intensely in response....


Crow:  She's still touching that outlet!


>She had never been touched this way before.... not even by herself....


Mike:  At least, not while she was doing needlepoint at the same time.


>"Ohh.... That feels so good.... Keiichi-san...." she moaned, "Do that some
>more.... please....."


Tom:   (as Keiichi) But I'm all out of peanut butter!


>As Keiichi continued to touch and caress her body, Belldandy reached out to
>touched Keiichi's chest, his arms, feeling the muscles underneath his skin,
>"Hmm..... you need some exercise, Keiichi-san..... but we can handle that
>another time."


Washu: (as Belldandy) Oh, yes, I already have plans to make you my little
bitch, my lovely...


>She moved her hands lower down Keiichi's body, reaching his crotch before
>stopping. Belldandy stared at his penis and blushed, it was big and fully
>erect.


Crow:  All three inches...
Mike, Tom, and Washu: (twist around and glare at Crow)
Crow:  Um, sorry.


>She put a trembling hand on it, Keiichi's member twitched and Belldandy
>pulled back in surprise.


Tom:   It's alive! Alive, I tell you!


>Keiichi laughed lightly, "Don't worry, that was a positive reaction." he
>assured her.


Washu: It hasn't melted in her hand yet, either. What's she so afraid of?
Mike:  Whatever. Follow us, Washu. (picks up Tom)
All:   (exit)


[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]


   "So, when Gizmonic launched this satellite, the evil Dr. Clayton Forrester
smuggled a janitor aboard, and made him watch lousy movies?" Washu was
trying to get her bearings. "And this guy built these robots so he wouldn't
go crazy?"
   "Right." Crow motioned to himself and Tom. "That was us."
   "And this guy managed to escape after a while and the Mads sent *you* as a
replacement?" Washu addressed Mike.
   "Yep. Knocked me out and sent me up."
   "Hmmm..." As far-fetched as some of his story was, Washu had no reason to
disbelieve Mike. If fact, it only served to strengthen some of the stories
she had heard about the elusive Dr. Forrester and his great, mad experiment
during her internship with Gizmonic. And now, she was *part* of that same
experiment, apparently. "Then what happened?"
   "Oh, his funding ran out. He *was* going to let us burn up in the
atmosphere, but we managed to regain control and break free. We ended up at
the edge of the universe..." Washu's ears perked up as Mike went on. "...
and we turned into disembodied energy..."
   "WHAT!?!" Washu facefaulted. "That's impossible! It defies all the laws of
physics I know of! Temporary disharmonic flux, yes, but complete
disembodiment? That's unheard of!"
    "Well, you're young yet. So, anyway, five hundred years later, we (except
for Crow) came back to the Satellite of Love to find the world overrun by
apes and Dr. Forrester's mother, Pearl, ruling over them all."
   "She wanted to keep showing us movies, too..." Crow whined.
   "Then stuff happened, I, uh, 'visited' some planets..." At this both Bots
snickered knowingly. Mike shot them an icy glance. "...then we got sucked
into a wormhole, spent some time in Ancient Rome, got sucked into ANOTHER
wormhole, and we ended back in orbit around present day Earth. You scanned
us, and here you are..." Mike shrugged. "Sorry about that..."
   "It's not your fault, Mike. In fact, it's easy enough for me to fix." The
redheaded scientist took a step back and winked. "Nice place you have here,
forgive me for not staying any longer!" Stepping back, she waved, and stood
there humming happily to herself.
   Five minutes passed.
   "Um, ma'am?" Mike waved a hand in front of Washu's face.
   She blinked and looked up at him. "Hmmm? Oh, what are *you* doing here?
Teleport with me?"
   "Uh, no. You're still on the SoL."
   "NANI?!" Washu uttered several long strings of Japanese curses. "YOU MEAN
IT DIDN'T WORK?!" Her face froze as she realized what must of happened. "My
mainframe... it must be..."
   "Something the matter, Miss Washu?" Mike really didn't know what was going
on.
   "Ne, Nothing." Washu smiled weakly. "Guess I'll be staying for tea, after
all..."
   The room began to shake and flash.
   "Do the honors, Washu?" Tom asked.
   "Huh? Oh! WE HAVE LEMON SIGN!"


[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater]


(They enter and sit in the same manner as before)


>Belldandy gulped and put both her hands on his erection.  She could feel it
>tremble slightly in her grasp as blood and warmth flowed through it.
>Keiichi took her hands and showed Belldandy how to stroke his shaft.


Crow:  Having perfected the technique on himself.
Mike:  Man, you just keep it up, young droid...


>She was pleased to hear him groan lovingly as she moved her hands up and
>down along his length, knowing that she was doing it right.
>Quite different, Keiichi thought, from doing it yourself....


All:   EEEWWW!!!
Crow:  I was just kidding! I take it back!


>  so much better.... I feel like I could just sit here.... and let her do
>this to me all night.... he held still and soaked up the emotions that
>flowed through him. Eventually, Keiichi felt himself tittering on the
>brink.
>But he couldn't decide if he should tell Belldandy to stop....


Tom:   ... in the name of love?
Washu: ... in the name of decency!


>She wasn't exaggerating after all.... Belldandy thought when she saw
>Keiichi's reaction. She was slightly shy about taking the next step, but
>she was curious....


Crow:  Like George!


>Keiichi was startled when Belldandy bent down and started licking him.
>After a few licks, she kissed the tip and took half of him into her mouth
>with one smooth motion, her tongue ran along the underside of his length.
>Keiichi lost all control,


Tom:   ... going on a rampant killing spree that destroyed much of Japan!
Washu: That happens more often than you'd think...


>he had about half a second to enjoy the humid dampness of her mouth. Then
>he felt himself twitch one more time before exploding in her mouth.


Mike:  ... killing her instantly. The end.


>"Ah... ah.... AAAHH!!!"


Washu: ... My Goddess?
Bots:  IT'S MEGUMI-SAMA!
Mike:  Doh!


>he cried as he came. This is bigger than any I've ever had before, Keiichi
>thought as he emptied himself into her mouth. The feeling of ecstasy that
>followed made him forget about everything else for the moment....


Tom:   Giving her MORE than enough time to lift his wallet...


>The sudden ejaculation caught Belldandy by surprise, she hadn't expected
>him to come so soon.


Washu: (as Belldandy, dully) Gee. I did not expect him to come so soon.


>Salty, she thought as it filled her mouth, tastes good though....


Crow:  (as Belldandy) Just like liquid Drano!
Washu: (gags) Disgusting...


>She swallowed every last drop of his semen. It was sticky and some clung to
>her throat briefly, but she loved it.


Mike:  The same way she likes drinking Elmer's Glue.


>The flow slowed to a trickle and finally stopped. Even so, Belldandy kept
>his shaft in her mouth, licking and cleaning it with her tongue. She
>liked its taste and its texture, it was so suckable.


Tom:   (snickers) Like this fanfic...


>But even her efforts couldn't keep Keiichi erect for long after he came.
>Reluctantly Belldandy let him slip from her mouth, then she slowly kissed
>her way up his body.
>"You... like?" Keiichi asked her, panting.


Washu: (as Keiichi) ... like crackerjacks?


>Belldandy nodded, "Mmm.... oishii...."


Crow:  (as Keiichi) I'm not Yoshi! So, you have been with my dinosaur!
Tom:   Now, that's just sick.


>and smiled happily. They kissed briefly, and Keiichi could taste himself in
>her mouth.
>"Where..... How did you learn to do that?" Keiichi asked.


Mike:  (as Belldandy) Shop class, oddly enough.


>Belldandy giggled a little, "Urd used to be rather.... candid about her
>affairs." she admitted shyly.


Crow:  (as Belldandy) She used to tongue me occasionally, and...
Mike:  CROW!
Tom:   So she brought back candid camera scenes from her affairs?
Washu: (as Urd) Surprise!!! You're on my bedroom camera!
Mike:  (shakes his head) I'm surrounded.


>"So.... you're still a virgin?" Keiichi asked.
>Belldandy nodded, "Yes!" Keiichi smiled at her, "So am I....." he blushed,


Tom:   (as Keiichi) I had my relationship with my left hand annulled.


>then found himself eyeing her lovely body hungrily.


Washu: He must have missed lunch!


>He needed quite a bit of courage to take the next step, "Umm.... Would you
>like me to return the favor, Belldandy?"


Crow:  (as Belldandy) No, I'll just charge it to your account...


>Belldandy looked at her body then at Keiichi, "Do you know what to do?" she
>wondered. "Yes I do,


Tom:   (as Keiichi) Yeah, it involves some sort of jelly... Doesn't it?
Crow:  (as Keiichi) I grew up in a house surrounded by sisters. You
learn after a while.
Mike and Washu: CROW!!
Crow:  (wincing) Sheesh, okay! Now I'M surrounded!


>so just lie back and enjoy, Belldandy...." Keiichi assured her.


Mike:  (as Keiichi) It's going to be a bumpy ride...
Washu: (as Belldandy) Is it over yet?


>"Bell-chan." Belldandy smiled as she lay down on the futon.
>"Huh...." Keiichi blinked.


Crow:  Bluh-link!


>"Call me Bell-chan. No one has called me that since I was a child, but I
>would like you to.... when we're alone." she told him.
>Keiichi smiled, "Okay Bell.... chan," he caressed a breast,


Tom:   Caress a Breast! A new kind of body wash.


>"and no one calls me 'Keiichi-san' like you do. I love it."
>Then Keiichi kissed her, cupping her breasts and squeezing them at the same
>time.


Crow:  You mean, there's another way to squeeze them?
Washu: You'd be surprised.
Mike:  ...
Washu: What?


>Belldandy moaned sweetly, sending pleasant shivers through his body as
>well. Keiichi bent down to lick her breasts, then he sucked on her nipples
>until they went erect under his tongue.
>"Kei.....ichi.....saaa....aahhh...aann...."


Washu: (as Belldandy) You have something in your teeth!


>Belldandy moaned and tried to press Keiichi closer to herself, wanting only
>for him to give her more of that good feeling. With Belldandy all warmed
>up, Keiichi decided he could really turn on the heat...


Tom:   (singing) In the Heat... of the Night...


>Keiichi kissed her body as he moved down to her mound.


Crow:  Mounds? I prefer Almond Joy myself...
Washu: (chuckles) Cute, Tom!
Tom:   (dangerously) *I'm* Tom!
Crow:  And *I'm* Crow, Washu!
Washu: Sorry, sorry!


>He gently caressed her thighs, and got Belldandy to open them wide for
>him. For a moment, he just stared at the sight before him, his breath
>brushed
>over her sex, and made Belldandy shiver.


Washu: (as Belldandy) Um, could you stop doing that?


>Then Keiichi gently caressed the insides of her thighs and drew his fingers
>around her vaginal lips. They were yielding and damp as her juices flowed
>out of her opening, their warmth a mere shadow of the fire raging
>within her body.


Crow:  But, sadly, her juices put the fire out.


>Belldandy jerked at his first contact "Aaahhh..... Keiichi-saaahhh....."
>she moaned passionately. Tonight was one wonderful new experience after
>another....


Tom:   In our case, pain and agony.
Washu: TELL me about it...


>And Keiichi was just beginning. He licked her clit, flicking his tongue
>across it delicately.


Crow:  He was flickering it and lickering it!
Tom:   No time for *Games*, Crow...
Mike:  Huh?
Tom:   It was before your time, Nelson.


>Belldandy moaned louder and grabbed his head, trying to bury his face
>between her legs.  Keiichi didn't mind too much, she smelled very.......
>arousing.


Washu: And he smelled very... bad.


>After a few more minutes of Keiichi's actions, Belldandy began to shudder,
>thrusting her cunt at him. Keiichi gave her clit a hard suck at
>each thrust and pushed his forefinger into her vagina.


Crow:  Suddenly, his finger encountered a mousetrap!
Tom:   (as Keiichi) Damn Skuld! I don't know HOW she does it...


>Belldandy gasped at the sensation, her vaginal muscles tightening
>reflexively around the intrusion. It felt so intense that she almost
>lost control of herself.


Mike:  ... and started submissively urinating over everything.


>Keiichi marveled at her tightness- he might have a problem getting inside
>later.... His finger traveled slowly inside her, getting all gooey with her
>fluids.


Washu: I should of never of gotten out of bed this morning...
Mike:  You'll get numb to it after a while...
Crow:  We did!


>Then Keiichi came to her hymen and touched it delicately.  Belldandy threw
>her head to one side, and a groan worked its way through her gritted
>teeth. Keiichi pulled his finger back, and smiled. He continued to finger
>her
>but left her hymen alone. He would penetrate it later.... with the proper
>equipment.


Tom:   Pickax, backhoe, dynamite...


>It was enough for now anyway, Belldandy was quite sensitive to his
>fingering and licking. She moaned and panted audibly, the pleasure almost
>unbearable for her.


Mike:  Uh yeah. Unbearable for us, too.


>Then Keiichi put another finger into her, and Belldandy could take no more.


Crow:  (as Popeye) I can't stands no more!


>She came almost instantly, arching her back, her thighs lifted high as
her legs went rigid. Belldandy cried out loud as intense ecstasy coursed
>through her body, she pressed Keiichi into her crotch as she came and came.
>Keiichi had to drink all he could to keep from drowning, Belldandy
>came like a flood!


All:   (chanting) Drown him! Drown him! Drown him!
Washu: I've lowered myself to the level of the mob...
Tom:   Sad, really.
Washu: And I think I like it!
All:   (chanting) Drown him! Drown him! Drown him!


>She was delicious, like nothing he had ever tasted before.


Crow:  (as Keiichi) Actually, some mustard would be nice...


>It was quite some time before her muscles relaxed and Belldandy collapsed
>onto the futon. She lay there breathing heavily as she stared at the roof
>with
>a blissful expression.


Washu: (as Belldandy) He's finally done! Thank God!


>Was this how Keiichi felt when he came?


Tom:   ... or when he went? Thank you!


>Belldandy wondered as the feeling of ecstasy slowly faded. Keiichi
>playfully lapped up the last traces of cum on her thighs and slowly kissed
>his way up her body.


Mike:  Bleck.


>"Oh.... you're all messy," Belldandy said when she saw his cum-stained
>face, "Let me clean you up, Keiichi-san." she offered and began licking her
>own cum off his face.


Washu: Bleck.


>"You taste great." Keiichi told her,


Tom:   (as Keiichi) Less filling!


>"Like nothing I've ever tasted before!"


Crow:  (as Keiichi) 'Course, I've never tasted gasoline before, either...


>"Thank you, Keiichi-san." Belldandy said between licks, "I'm glad you liked
>it."


Washu: (as Belldandy) In fact, with some tea, I'd be pretty damn tasty!


>Keiichi waited until Belldandy finished, then he asked her, "Do you want
>to.... go all the way?" Belldandy blushed, then she


Mike:  ... said, "No!"
Tom:   (chanting) They... might... go... all.. the... WAY!!


>nodded slowly, once, twice, "Yes Keiichi-san.... all the way." the smile
>she gave him was the cutest one he had ever seen. He couldn't help but
>smile
>in return.


Crow:  He exchanged it for a smaller size?


>Keiichi put himself at her entrance, he paused briefly, then  pushed
>himself
>into Belldandy. They both gasped at their joining and smiled happily at
>each
>other, unable to express themselves with mere words.


Tom:   The author, unfortunately, could.
Mike:  Oh, come on, it's not *that* bad...


>I'm in heaven.... Keiichi thought as Belldandy enclosed him with her loving
>warmth. The tightness was expected, and he was glad for her extra wetness.


Washu: Now they're selling us baby wipes?
Mike:  Shameful, shameful...


>Belldandy anchored her feet firmly on the futon and moaned pleasurably as
>Keiichi slowly pushed deeper and deeper into her.


Crow:  We're in about 500 ft and the Rolex is STILL TICKING!!!


>After some effort, he found himself back at her hymen. It was like a
>barrier between him and the rest of her.  Keiichi pulled back from it,"This
>may hurt a little, Bell-chan." he warned then plunged in again, pressing
>harder against her barrier.


Tom:   Time to bring out the jackhammer!
Crow:  Stand back! Man at work!
Mike:  Fellas...
Washu: Push it back, push it back, waaay back!
Mike:  Washu?


>Belldandy had a pained expression on her face, "I know.....  ah....
>But....ahh.... you have to.... ah.... do it...." she told him between
>thrusts.


Mike:  (as Keiichi) Well, okay, but I'm charging you extra for it!
Washu: Mike?
Mike:  Hey, if you can't beat 'em, out-riff 'em.


>Each time Keiichi pressed against her hymen, he pressed a little harder
>than before. Finally it sundered and Belldandy yelled at the pain, tears
>streaming down her cheeks. A little worried, Keiichi stopped.
>"Did it hurt?" he asked her.


Washu: (as Belldandy, sarcastically) No, it was *roses*, you putz!


>Belldandy smiled, "Nothing I couldn't handle." she assured him as she wiped
>away her tears.


All:   (singing) I cried my tears... You had them dried...


>At that, Keiichi continued pushing, and was soon completely buried inside
>her.


Crow:  Now at 1000 ft and the Rolex CAN'T BE STOPPED!!!


>He stopped for a moment, savoring the feeling of her incredible warmth
>pressing against his whole length. Then Keiichi began moving in and out of
>Belldandy in a slow and easy rhythm.


Bots:  (singing) Slow ride... Take it easy...


>As Keiichi's arousal increased, his strokes became shorter but faster.


Mike:  As they usually did when he was alone in the bathtub for any length
of time.


>His efforts had their effects on Belldandy, she moaned uncontrollably and
>her cunt became hotter and wetter, Keiichi felt as if he was plunging
>through
>a furnace.


Washu: Somehow the idea of a goddess and that OTHER word sound really...
odd... together.
Crow:  Sounds like a cool name for a biker bar! The Goddess's Cu-
Mike:  (snaps Crow's beak shut with one hand)
Crow:  Mmmph!


>All these sensations made it harder for him to control his body. But
>Keiichi gritted his teeth and was determined to hold on as long as he had
>to.
>He couldn't come before Belldandy did, it wouldn't be fair to her....


Mike:  But fair to *us*, because we'd get to leave the theater sooner!


>Impaled firmly on his rod,


Crow:  Owie!


>Belldandy was forced to follow his movements;


Washu: (as Belldandy) Next time, *I* get to lead, baka!


>shoved and pulled as Keiichi thrust and withdrew.  She wrapped her arms
>around his neck and moved to his rhythm.


Tom:   (singing) I got rhythm, I got music...


>Her initial pain was fading, replaced by waves of pleasure that grew ever
>more
>intense. It was so wonderfully different from anything she had ever
>experienced
>before, even her earlier orgasm paled in comparison.


Mike:  ... but not as gratifying as your very first Jell-O Pudding Pop.
Washu: Amen to *that*!


>Belldandy flexed her vaginal muscles in a rhythm that complimented
>Keiichi's movements, making him stay longer within her love canal. She saw
>that Keiichi was enjoying this. Good.... she gave him her best in
>everything,


Tom:   Except clothes. She didn't like lending him her clothes.


>she would do no less now.


Crow:  She wouldn't do *anything* at all!


>Keiichi and Belldandy moaned together in pleasure. They neither knew or
>cared how long it went on, only how they felt and how they made each other
>feel. Their bodies glistened with sweat as they moved faster and faster,
>spurred on by their lust.


Washu: Now they're riding horses, or...?


>Their pleasure mounted as they drove each other towards the peak of
>passion....


Mike:  Ascending without oxygen, no less.


>Finally Belldandy came, "KEIICHI-SAN!" she cried with her release. Her
>extra-hot juices erupted from within her and drenched Keiichi's penis
>before soaking into the futon.


Tom:   Shame. He just bought that bed.
Washu: Ruined his 'My Little Pony' bed sheets, too. Pity...
Mike:  The Mount of Belldandy erupted today, spewing hot volcanic ash across
several helpless villages...


>At the same time, Keiichi came too. "BELL-CHAN!!!" he cried out as he
>spewed his seed, his juices mixing with hers deep within her body.


Crow:  Shaken, not stirred!


>Belldandy and Keiichi cried out in ecstasy as the world around them was
>engulfed by an explosion of light.


Washu: Turns out it was merely a nearby nuclear blast. The end.


>Their climax seemed to increase a thousandfold. They were consumed by a
>maelstrom of love, lust, passion and pleasure. All other sensations were
>overwhelmed. Time had no meaning, the universe ceased to exist.


All:   (singing) Let it be, let it be! Let it be...


>All that remained was how they felt for each other.... Eventually the
>experience ended, and the world came back....


Mike:  Bummer...


>Keiichi lay down beside Belldandy and held her to him, she gladly returned
>his embrace. They lay face to face, looking at each other with a serene,
>loving and satisfied expression. "Was it good?" she asked.


Crow:  Not from our vantage point, booby!


>"It was good." he answered.


Washu: Jerry Lewis good? Or Dean Martin good?


>"I love you." they said together softly.
>"Keiichi-san....."
>"Bell-chan....."


Tom:   Mike!
Mike:  Crow!
Crow:  Washu!
Washu: Tom!


>They held each other, with the same expression still on their faces,


Tom:   ... big ol' dopey grins...


>resting in the lingering warmth of their lovemaking. Too spent to continue,
>but still too excited to sleep...


Mike:  Clearly, they were Too Old to Rock and Roll, but Too Young to Die.
Crow:  (snickers)


>But they weren't they only ones affected...


Washu: Some other areas experienced heavy winds and torrential downpours,
too.


>                                        -------
>                                    Urd felt as if she had been hit by a
>seizure.


Crow:  ... Lubalablublabubabubaba...


>Her muscles spasmed. Though momentarily confused, and somewhat afraid, she
>found the sensation rather.... pleasurable. The feeling left as quickly as
>it came. Urd fell to her knees, gasping for breath.  Then she realized what
>had happened....


Tom:   *She* had backed into an electrical outlet.


>"Belldandy..." she muttered as she headed for the door, "and Keiichi..."
>she added without saying aloud.


Mike:  So, she *thought* it, or...?
Washu: Maybe...


>She peered into the hallway and saw Skuld coming out of her room also.
>"You felt it too?" Urd asked her.
>Skuld nodded, "What was that?"


Crow:  (as Urd) Oh, I'd say about a 7.5 on the Richter Scale...


>Urd smiled slyly, "That's..... the ultimate pleasure...."


All:   (singing) Doublemint, Doublemint... gum!


>Skuld needed a second to comprehend her meaning, "You mean.... I'm going
>to kill Keiichi!" she said angrily as she stomped towards Keiichi's room.


Tom:   (as Skuld) Banpei! Special Bobbit Attack Mode! NOW!


>"Now, now, let's not be too hasty....." Urd advised as she caught up with
>her.


Mike:  (as Urd) You know what they say about sloppy seconds...
Washu: (slyly) What, Mike?
Mike:  ... I wouldn't know.


>As she neared Keiichi's room, Urd felt something in the air...


Crow:  (deep voice) The power of love...


>"Isolation field." She shook her head, "We can't get to them. But there may
>be another way." she said and headed for her room.


Washu: (as Urd) We'll tunnel up from below!


>"Wait for me! I want to know too." Skuld said, "But what do you have in
>mind?" she asked as she followed Urd.


Tom:   (as Urd) My brain, stupid, what else?


>In her room, Urd cast a spell on the TV and it turned on.


Mike:  She's too lazy to get up and find the remote...
Crow:  The Ultimate Couch Potato!


>"Aha! She didn't put up a surveillance barrier."


Washu: Well, isn't that *convenient*...
Mike:  Y'know, it would follow that goddesses would be natural peeping
toms...
Washu: Heh. Well...


>Looking at the image, she became upset, "I don't believe it! Keiichi and
>Belldandy making love for the first time.... and I missed it completely!


Crow:  Should have taped it!
Tom:   Nah, She might be a goddess, but she can't program a VCR worth
a crap...


>Why didn't I see this coming?


Bots:  (snicker)
Washu: Now, boys... and I do mean *boys*...


>How could they do this to me?"


Tom:   To you? They're doing it to each other, ya knob!


>Urd had been so sure she would know well in advance before it happened.


Mike:  Be considerate. Schedule your spontaneous love-making well in
advance...


>But then she remembered how many of her own times were spontaneous also.


Washu: (as Urd) Yeah, let's get crazy! I'm gonna buy *real* butter this
time!
Tom:   No margarine? Talk about living on the edge!
Crow:  You can feel the calories being absorbed just from holding it in
your hand!


>She sighed, no use crying over spilled milk....


Crow:  That is *so* deep...


>Skuld on the other hand was shocked, there was her sister and Keiichi lying
>in each other's arms, naked!


Mike:  What else did you expect in a lemon? A guitar solo?


>"Is that all you're worried about?" she shouted, appalled by the scene.
>"How could she let him.... do that... to her?"


Washu: (as Urd) I know! Let's read the first part of the lemon and find
out!


>"They're in love, that's all it took." Urd told her simply.
>The words were like a hammer blow. Skuld starts sobbing.


Tom:   Urd turned into Akane?
Crow:  (as Akane) SKULD NO BAKA!!!


>Her feelings towards Keiichi were clear now, she was jealous of him! When
>she saw how close her sister was to him, she knew- but could not admit
>to herself- that Keiichi loved Belldandy in ways that she could not. And
>she
>hated him for it. Now she was certain, and she felt alone. So Skuld cried.


All:   Awww...
Washu: First time I've heard of a Goddess getting 'mortal envy'.


>Urd tried to comfort her sister, "Now now, don't worry. She still loves you
>as before. Don't take my word for it.


Mike:  (as Urd) Take *your* word for it, for a change!


>You can ask her yourself in the morning."


Washu: She'll be a little tired then, though...


>That got her attention. Skuld sighed, and wiped away her tears, "For once,
>I hope you're right." Then she looked at the TV again, "Looks like we
>missed the whole show."


Crow:  Yep, too bad!


>"Hmm.... Maybe not...." Urd commented.


Tom:   Damn...


>On screen, Keiichi held Belldandy with one hand and lazily traced circles
>around one of her nipples with the other.


Mike:  Around and around it goes!
Washu: ... where it stops...
Bots:  WHO GIVES A RAT'S ASS!?!
Washu: Well put.


>"I think there will be more soon. But if you don't want to stay...." Urd
>shrugged.


Crow:  (valley girl) Like, whatever...


>"I'll stay. I'm.... curious too." Skuld said as she settled back to wait.
>"This may get a little disturbing...." Urd warned.


Washu: Is that possible? It could get even *more* disturbing?
Mike:  Yep. Trust me.


>"I'll take my chances."
>"Suit yourself."


Tom:   ... it's 'Goddess' days at Mynard's!


>So the two goddesses watched and waited....


Mike:  Have fun... (picks up Servo)
(they exit)


[End Part 1, Roll Part 2]

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