MST 3001 ep. 3005: "Bubble Gum Pink: Raging Fires", Kris Overstreet

MST3001- Episode 3005 "Bubble Gum Pink: Raging Fires" - Part Five
[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]

Magic Voice: Returning from Series Sign in five, four, three...

(here, the skit grinds to an abrupt halt, and rewinds back to the Series
Sign)
Magic Voice: Take Two in five, four, three...

Tom Servo was humming a little tune to himself as he sat on the bridge of
the SOL- life was good in his own little world. Suddenly, Crow rushed in
with a frantic look about him.
"Servo! Bad news!"
"What? Weebles wobble but they WILL fall down?"
"What? No, worse! It's Mike!" Crow had an edge to his voice. "You see,
living among the Nanites has caused them to burrow deeper and deeper into
his body! Eventually, they'd start to interfere with those icky biological
processes that he has, and sure enough! They just did!"
"Alright," Tom said impatiently. "What does that have to do with *me*?"
"Well, the way I figure, that means two things. The first is that he'll go
rabid with wonton lust and will start to dry hump everything."
"That's awful! Is there anything we can possibly do to save him?
"Well..." Crow reluctantly began, "there *is* something, but it may be his
only hope!"
"Anything! Anything for poor old Mikey-boy!" Tom exclaimed.
"Alright, then, we'll do it. But try and keep an open mind..." said Crow,
as he held up a strap-on dildo...
Tom's head whirls to face the readers at home with a look of silent horror,
his jaw falling agape...

(The skit grinds to ANOTHER abrupt halt, and rewinds back to the Series
Sign)
Magic Voice: (irritated) Take THREE in five, four, three...

Tom Servo was humming a little tune to himself as he sat on the bridge of
the SOL- life was good in his own little world. Suddenly, Crow rushed in
with a frantic look about him.
"Servo! Bad news!"
"What up? The Penguin's loose in Gotham City?"
"What? No, worse! It's Mike!" Crow had an edge to his voice. "You see,
living among the Nanites has caused them to burrow deeper and deeper into
his body! Eventually, they'd start to interfere with those icky biological
processes that he has, and sure enough! They just did!"
"Alright," Tom said impatiently. "What does that have to do with *me*?"
"Well, the way I figure, that could mean two things. The first is that
he'll go rabid with wonton lust and will start to dry hump everything."
"What's the other possibility?" Tom asked.
"That he'd dress up like a cowpoke and just be really, really annoying."
With that, Mike came in dressed like Woody the Cowboy, complete with a
guitar in hand. He strummed it, and started singing. "You got a friend in
me, OH! You got a friend in meeeeee..."
"Why, we're in luck!" cried Tom. "It's the second one!"
"Yeah. Lucky." Crow looked back at Tom. "You want to handle this one, or
should I?"
"Right. On it." replied Tom, as a giant mallet came down from the right
side of the screen and slammed down on Mike Nelson's head. He froze in
mid-strum as the hammer crushed the cowboy hat he was wearing. Mike remained
standing for a moment, then stiffly fell over backwards, his guitar making a
'KA-BOING!' sound as he hit steel decking.
"You know, no matter how many times I see that, I never get tired of it!"
Crow beamed.
"Me either! Oh, crap, WE GOT LEMON SIGN!"

[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater]

>***ATTENTION!***
>

Mike: (holding his forehead) That's gonna leave a bump...
Tom: Ah, suck it up and drive on, Nelson.
(they take their usual seats)

>***YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION, NOT OF SIGHT AND SOUND,
>BUT OF NAKED SWEATY BODIES PERFORMING ACTS OF GRAPHIC AND LUDICROUS SEX.***
>
>***EVERYONE UNDER 18 DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW!***

Crow: Yes, everyone under eighteen feet tall, this means *you!*
Mike: Nice try, but, no...

>***EVERYONE WHO THINKS BAYWATCH IS TOO RISQUE AND THAT PAMELA LEE ANDERSON
>SHOULD BE FORCED TO WEAR A SHAPELESS SWEATSUIT 24 HOURS A DAY, DELETE THIS
>MESSAGE NOW!***

Tom: A half-ton *rock* tied around her neck, maybe...
Crow: Whoo whoo! Zing!

>***ALL CITIZENS OF THE REPUBLIC OF SAN MARINO DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW!***

Mike: ... in fact, all *non* citizens of San Marino delete it as well!

>***LAST WARNING, STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING AHEAD!***

Tom: You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get pretty hot and bothered!

>***OKAY... REMAIN IN YOUR SEAT AT ALL TIMES AND KEEP BOTH HANDS ON THE
>KEYBOARD. };-{D ***
>
>
> Act 5

Crow: ... in which our heroes redouble their efforts and overcome the
obstacles set before them in Act Four.

> Sylia looked slightly stunned at Priss. "Go on, Sweetling,
>it's your turn." she urged. "Remember, this is for Mackie."

All: (as Bill Cosby) Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

> "Well, yeah..." Priss said contritely, looking at the groaning
>boy on the bed. "But... well... shit, he still turns me off. I can't
>even think of-"

Mike: Think of...?
Tom: Oh the Thinks you can Think, if only you TRY!

>Her glance slipped back down to his manhood, and she
>gasped, "Hey! Is that thing bigger?"

Crow: The hole in the plot? Or characterization?

> "What?" Sylia took a closer look and gasped. "Let me see
>that," she said, scrambling over to the bed. She took Mackie's prick
>in her hands, measuring its length, and gasped.

Tom: ... as it came... off, in her hand!

>Since her turn at him,

Mike: ... Asia's markets had plummeted to an all time low.

>his cock had easily added another two inches, maybe three, and it had
>grown a bit thicker as well. As she looked it over, it twitched,

Bots: AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH A BIG STICK!
Crow: IT MIGHT BE POISONOUS! *RUN!*
Mike: You both may be right, because I *do* feel sick...

>spewing out yet another flood of semen over his chest and Sylia's
>hands. The orgasm subsided, but Mackie's penis still throbbed, burning
>hot, as Sylia let go and backed away. "Uh-oh," she said.
> "Uh-oh?" Nene asked. "Isn't that my line?"

All: (as the rest of the Sabers) Shut *up*, Nene...

> "His pituitary gland's been affected. We're out of time."

Mike: (as Sylia) ... and flavor!

> "What?" Priss couldn't parse the statement.

Tom: Dubbing will do that, after a while...
Mike: (as kid from 'Prince of Space') I like it *very* much!

> "Too long and logically implausible to explain," Sylia said.

Mike: (as Sylia) ... so lemme explain...
Crow: (snickers)

>"Simply put,

All: (laugh)

>the fever's put his pituitary gland into hyperdrive to
>match his sexual urges. If this keeps up, he'll die from the shock to
>his system. You have to break the fever now!"

Tom: (falsetto) Help us, Obi-wan Kenobie!

> Nene gaped at Mackie's immense hard-on. "Wow! He's a monster
>now! I thought he was getting bigger at the end!"

Crow: (as Nene) In fact, it *was* in my end!

> Priss looked from Mackie's face to his crotch, then his face,
>then his cock, stuck on the point of indecision. Mackie was her
>friend, she didn't want him to die...

Mike: ... yet.

>she also didn't want to have sex with the little pervert...

Tom: But she's been pretty forgiving of her standards lately, so there's
hope!

>but the twitching organ between his legs called to a hunger which was
>stirring again in her loins, despite her revulsion at its owner. ".....
>I'm gonna need help..." she gasped at last.

Crow: Hell, she'll need *years* of extensive therapy at least!

> "Here you go!" Nene chirped, handing a vial of 'liquid
>courage' with a red stopper to Priss. Priss looked nervously at the
>substance.

Mike: (as Priss) At $50 a pop, this sure had better *buzz*...

>She'd seen what it had done to Sylia and Linna (she'd also
>seen that Nene didn't need the stuff to be a total pervert), and quite
>frankly it made her nervous. However, she wouldn't be able to touch
>Mackie without it. And oh boy, did she want to.

Tom: ... use the john, that is!

> "Bottoms up," she said, and she gulped down the tiny vial of
>liquid courage, feeling fire dance through her as it hit her stomach.

Crow: SURGE!
Mike and Tom: (singing) Down poison...

>Almost instantly, the form before her took on a new look.

Mike: Uh-oh... I think she just O.D.'d!
Tom: D'OH! This is even worse than the time she took too many Flintstone's
Chewables!

>No longer was Priss looking at Mackie, renowned pervert and fanboy- this
>was
>Mackie, the one person in the room who could satisfy her raging urges.

Crow: (villainous) And so, Ms. Asagri, the tables have turned once more...

> "Wow... that stuff is potent," Priss said, and then her hunger
>took over. She lunged over the bed, almost swallowing Mackie's cock in
>her drug-enhanced desire.

Tom: Behold, the power of drugs. Buy drugs, where you work or bank!

>To the amazement of the other girls, she began swallowing Mackie's
>enhanced length to depths logic stated just couldn't be possible.

Mike: ... and now even the *story* can't believe this story!

>Mackie moaned under her, slowly humping against her face as she sucked.
> "I didn't know you made it that strong," Nene whispered to Sylia.
> "I didn't," Sylia said. "That vial just had sugar water in it."

All: (imitate a muted trumpet) Wah, wah, waaah!

> "If that was just sugar water," Linna whispered, watching as
>Priss pulled away from her deep-throat and feverishly worked Mackie's
>hard-on over with her tongue, "then I could use some too!" Snatching
>Sylia's purse from the bedside,

Crow: Aha! Linna is secretly a klepto, too!
Tom: First Nene's nymphomania, and now this...

>she grabbed an identical vial, chugged it, and then, eyes flaming with
>excitement, she tackled Sylia, hands feeling up the elder Stingray's
>still- sopping twat.

Mike: Oy, oy! Again with the 'sopping' thing!

> "Hey," Nene whined, reflexively rubbing her thighs together,
>"what about me?"

Tom: Well, okay. I *guess* yours is sopping, too...
Mike: Not what she meant! And you *know* it!

> "Get your own love potion!" Sylia hissed as Linna's fingers
>played havoc with her pleasure centers. One hand was feeling up
>Sylia's sensitive knockers, while the other traced her labia and
>flirted with her clitoris.

Crow: Flickered...
Tom: ... and lickered, right.

>As one moistened digit snuck down and did a quick exploration of her
>asshole, Sylia moaned loudly, unable to do more than rock back and forth
>on her hands and knees and enjoy Linna's ministrations.

Mike: Linna's administration? Oh, she's a politician, *now* I get it!

> Nene watched anxiously, looking for some way of participating
>in the fun. Linna and Sylia appeared to be occupied with each other,

Tom: The game of Twister... but with a TWIST!
Crow: That sounded really, really stupid.

>and at the moment Priss was monopolizing Mackie with a single-minded
>passion. Rubbing her pussy absently, Nene sat and watched, waiting for
>a chance to join in.

Crow: Three hours pass by...

> Priss slurped frantically at Mackie's prod. Somehow, she had
>to quench the fires burning inside her, and her instincts told her the
>object she was currently lubricating with her saliva was the key.

Mike: What, her tongue? Oh, OH! Wait, never mind...

>As her tongue and lips ran up and down the immense length, her hand
>massaged her pussy, stoking the fires still further.

Tom: Meanwhile, Atlanta burned as Sherman marched his army deeper into
Georgia...
Crow: ... and the Unexpected Party made merry at Bag-End.
Mike: What are you two babbling about?
Tom: At this point? Who cares?

>Waves of heat ran across her body, gravitating to her breasts, her crotch,
>and her ass.

Mike: There's that donkey again!

>Gasping for breath, she climbed onto the bed, kissing Mackie's cock as
>long as she could, and then she straddled him and, slowly, gently,
>eased her cunt onto him.

Crow: (make beeping noises)
Mike: Back 'er up nice and slowly now!

> Priss gasped as her vaginal walls were stretched to their
>limits, and maybe beyond. With every inch sliding into her red-hot
>twat, Priss felt incredible pleasure, and she knew her first orgasm
>was only moments away.

Tom: Mike, I'm starting to lose all sensation in my body.
Mike: Me too, little buddy, (sigh) me too...

>Slowly, timidly, she began rocking back and forth slightly on Mackie's
>length, acclimating herself to the incredible sense of fullness she felt.
>In and out slid Mackie's rod, slowly driving Priss insane with desire.

Mike: So far, she's made it with all the other Knight Sabers, including
herself...
Tom: And Mackie completes the set!
Crow: Gotta do 'em all! Gotta do 'em all!

> Priss gasped as she felt hands gripping her breasts, tracing
>the outline of her aurolae. Mackie groaned and squeezed her Charmin
>mercilessly, and the mixed pain and pleasure sent Priss wild. Moaning
>incoherently, she sped up her humping, driving Mackie as deep as she
>could into her cunt.

Crow: Man, what a way to go...
Tom: Still, it doesn't really surprise me that he'd fit in there!

> "Ne, Priss," Nene whined from the floor, "move over, I need
>some too." Climbing up over Mackie's head, she placed her pudenda
>right over Mackie's lips, and it didn't take long for him, even in his
>near-comatose state, to take the hint and dig in.

Tom: (as Dig'em the Frog) Dig'em! Gotta have my Smacks!

>As Mackie slurped and smacked away at Nene's sweet-bun,

Mike: Brought to you by Hostess Cupcakes...

>Priss leaned up slightly and began working over Nene's bosom, driving
>the redhead's passion into high gear.

Tom: ... but in reverse!
Crow: Road kill on the informational superhighway... of porn.

> "Mmmm, Nene, I love how your tits taste!" Priss moaned,
>nibbling at Nene's nipples between groans.

Mike: This on you, Hannibal.
Tom: I pray for her sake that fava beans don't enter the picture...

>Nene gasped and ground her crotch harder against Mackie's face, sending
>love
>juices overflowing down his chin and cheeks.

Crow: Ironically, he's dreaming about her in that leotard again...
Mike: (laughs) Fate just isn't kind to Mackie Stingray! Finally loses his
virginity and whoops, he's unconscious at the time!

>The three lovers humped wildly, racing each other towards release.
> Priss climaxed first. Rearing back from Nene's breasts, she
>howled, "FUCK! FUCK! OHHH, FUUUUCK ME!!!" Mackie grunted, slamming
>harder and harder into her, until finally he went stiff, shooting his
>nth load of sperm into Priss' depths.

Tom: (as a voiceover) Orgasm Hit Counter powered by Geocities.

>Nene humped, fingered, and fondled herself, but without Mackie and Priss to
>help her, the orgasm she'd been seeking eluded her.

Mike: (as Nelson from the Simpsons) Ha, HA!

> Priss slid off Mackie's rod, which was now visibly pulsating,
>veins standing out on its length. "Oh, man," she groaned, "he's not
>done YET?!?"

Tom: Quoth the author: NEVER, WHORE!!

> Sylia pulled away from a groaning Linna, gasping as Linna's
>hands were torn away from her sensitive breasts.

Mike: (as Sylia, grumbling) I *suppose* I should be clinical about this...

>Examining Mackie quickly, she smiled and said, "I think we've almost got
>him.
>One more good spooge ought to do it."

Crow: (snicker) Dude, did she just say the word "spooge"?

> She left unspoken the real truth: one more had -better- do it.

Tom: Yeah, 'cause they're dangerously running low on fanfic.

>Mackie wouldn't last long enough for a second try if this one failed.
> Priss looked at Mackie's enormous love monster. "I don't know
>if my pussy can take that thing again," she groaned.

Mike: (as Priss' cat) What the hell, I'm game if you are! Mew!

> "Well, then, sweetling," Sylia smiled, rubbing Priss' cunt and
>lubing up her anus, "we'll just have to use another hole."

Crow: Say... uh oh... Mike, I don't feel so good!

> Priss gasped as Sylia's fingers invaded her rectum, slicking
>up the hole for use. The need for cock returned in force, and Priss
>reached down and began stroking Mackie's penis, preparing herself for
>penetration.

Crow: (twitches wildly)
Mike: Crow? You feeling okay?
Crow: No! I think... heh... heh-heh.

> Nene watched, moaning as Mackie began to give attention to her
>twat once more, while Priss raised her ass and aimed Mackie's prod at
>her twitching, well-lubricated bunghole.

Crow: Irk! Hum.. humma humma... hehe... heh...
Tom: Man, what's with him?

>Slowly, slowly, Priss brought herself down, making contact with the
>cockhead,
>and then timidly sliding the tip into her ass.

Mike: Really, who *wouldn't* be timid about having ANYTHING shoved up their
ass?

>Gasping with the pain, Priss bit her lip, but she kept shoving, centimeter
>after centimeter of cock shoving the walls of her rectum outward.

Crow: Pain... overwhelming. Urge to... must... heh-heh-heh! Heh-heh!
Mike: What the he... (realizing) No... fight it, Crow!

> Finally, with about half of Mackie's cock in her butt, Priss
>stopped and gasped for breath. Without a doubt, she had never felt so
>incredibly full in her life.

Tom: Including after Thanksgiving AND Christmas dinner?! Wow!

>Her spinchter was stretched painfully wide, but at the same time the feel
>of
>being penetrated, so wickedly, by _so_ fucking_ much_ cock_ turned her on
> >beyond belief. For a long moment, Priss couldn't move.

Mike: DON'T DO IT, CROW!!
Tom: Sorry, Nelson, I think it's out of your hands...

> Then, Sylia bent backwards over the foot of the bed and began
>licking at the edges of Priss' labia gently, teasing her cunt.

Tom: Stop calling her vagina names! What has it ever done to YOU... never
mind, I just remembered.

>Priss gasped, and then instinctively she shoved back onto Mackie's prick,
>shoving the rest of it into her in one hard stroke.

Tom: Sadly, one stroke under par.

>"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" she shouted,

Tom: Yeeeeahahhhhahaha!!!
Crow: I AM CORNHOLIO!! YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE WRAITH OF MY BUNGHOLE!!!
Mike: Oh, great... he's reverted to 'Beavis-mode'!

>tears of pain and pleasure streaking her face, as she came wildly.

Crow: (gets up and starts marching off to the left) YEahahahahahah!!
Mike: (hiding behind his chair) Why can't his primal form be something less
perverted, like a tentacle beast or something?

> Mackie moaned at the incredible pressure on his cock, like
>nothing he'd ever felt before...
> ... and his eyes fluttered open, and through a mouthful of
>Nene's twat he gasped, "Whmff... grfffmn... rrmmmnn?"

Tom: (not paying Crow any attention) Man, you talk about your rude
awakenings...
Mike: (genuinely afraid) Crap! He's headed back this way!
Crow: (marching back from the left, exits stage right) Hehehe, poop! Heheh,
POOP!

> Nene heard Mackie's muff-muffled voice, and she rose up long
>enough to see his face screwed up in a confused expression, made all
>the more ludicrous by the layers of female cum on his lips and cheeks.

Mike: (climbing back into his seat, but is watching Crow carefully)

>"Shh! Just lay back and enjoy, we're saving your life!" Nene giggled,
>and without further comment she returned her quim to its roost above
>Mackie's tongue.

Tom: And here I only thought *cocks* could roost there...
Mike: Damn! He's trying to claw his way through the Theater's doors!
Crow: (offscreen) TP! I MUST HAVE TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!!

> Sylia was enjoying every moment of the experience. The two
>forbidden lusts of her life were fucking, and she was there eating
>Priss's pussy, which to her was the sweetest pastry ever known to Man.

Tom: I seriously doubt it it'll ever outsell eclairs, though.
Mike: Jeeze! He's COMING RIGHT FOR US!!
Crow: (leaps towards Mike Nelson) Yehahahahahhaa!!!

>Or Woman, she giggled, considering Priss' probably limited experience.
>Under her expert tongue, Priss' cunt was responding incredibly well,
>and Sylia's own nest was growing hotter and hotter.

Tom: Thank to her trusty toaster oven!
Mike: (trying to fend off Crow) Tom! Help me out here!
Tom: (disinterestedly) Right. On it.
(Suddenly, from the right side of the screen, a giant mallet swings down on
Crow's head, knocking him cold)
Mike: How did...? (shakes head) Never mind.

> The humming noise she heard behind her at about that point
>seemed to Sylia to be the most wonderful noise created.

Tom: Not as wonderful as the words 'The End'.
Mike: Which for us, won't be arriving any time too soon.

>Reaching a hand back to spread her cunt lips wide, she raised her ass
>expectantly, and she was rewarded by Linna's quick insertion of the
>large, ribbed vibrator into her dripping pussy.

Mike: Brought to you by 'Adam & Eve' adult novelties...

>A second hum indicated she'd saved a vibrator for herself.

Tom: A *third* hum meant her cell phone had an incoming call.

> Priss screamed with orgasm after orgasm. "OOOOH! SO FULL! GOD,
>I CAN'T TAKE IT! OH GOOOOOOOD!" she yelled, as Mackie's rod buggered
>her. "OOOHH, YES! Fuck me up the ass! Fuck me behind the ear! Just
>FUCKING FUUUUUUUUUK! MEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Crow: (regaining consciousness) Ohhh... M-mike? I.. I dreamed we were
watching this really raunchy lemon, and it overloaded my circuits, and
(looks up at the screen) WHOA!
Mike: Good to have you back, Crow T.

> Nene moaned as Mackie's tongue sought out her inner depths,
>popping out now and then to caress her clit. Every flicker of his
>magic touch sent Nene into quiet convulsions, building one after the
>other in an erotic crescendo.

Mike: But it wasn't quite her forte, so it was a little flat.

>Massaging her tits, Nene rocked back and forth on his face, rushing
>as fast as she could to orgasm.

Tom: It could be a new Olympic event! The 100 meter *splash*! Cause, heh,
look at all the body fluids...

> Finally, Mackie bit down onto Nene's clit, and the mild pain
>capped the tidal wave of ecstacy. Moaning, she spasmed in orgasm,
>falling forward and accidentally shoving Priss down harder than ever
>on Mackie's cock.

Crow: This is like a Rube Goldberg design.
Mike: ... so then Priss knocks back this lever, which knocks the bowling
ball down the chute, turning on fan, which blows over the...

> For a long second, nobody moved.

Mike: Not the characters, not the plot, not *nuthin'*..

> Then, Priss shouted, "COME!" standing up on the bed, breasts
>in her hands, as Mackie's newly immense member slid out of her ass,
>already firing off a steady stream of semen.

Crow: Did we already compare his dick to Old Faithful? I can't remember...
Tom: Neither can I.
Mike: Yeah, Mackie, enjoy it while it lasts. As soon as you hit sixty,
you'll be lucky if you can get it to shiver when you're cold...

>The cum hit Sylia's face, who howled her delight as the vibrator
>helped her over the hump to her own orgasm. Finally, Linna screamed
>her own delight as she frigged herself to climax.

Tom: Now, Mike, is this officially a 'fabulous freak-out'?
Mike: (laughs) No, I believe it's better classified as a 'happening'.

> Exhausted, the Knight Sabers fell over each other, allowing
>afterglow to fade into sleep.

All: (singing) No colors anywhere, I want them to turn black...

> For the first time in nearly a day, Mackie's cock was totally
>limp... and he was surrounded by four sweaty, cum-drenched naked
>women.
> There's a bit of irony in there somewhere.

Tom: Uh-huh. This lemon *came* to an end...

> Pity none of them were conscious to observe it.

All: (snore)

> Epilogue
>
> Beep-beep-beep.

Mike: (wakes up) Gah!

> Beep-beep-beep.
> Beep-beep-beep.

Crow: The Network is *down*...
Mike: I'm coming to that opinion.
Tom: Well, I'm *not* waiting up.

> Sylia stirred from her position under the foot of the bed.
>Barely awake, she crawled over to the pile of clothes she'd taken off
>an eternity of orgasms ago, rummaged through it for her pager.

Mike: She missed the pager, but she *did* manage to feed her Tamagotchi
before it died!

>        Beep-beep-beep.
>        Beep-beep-beep.
>        Beep-be-bip bip!

Tom: Acme Acres was saddened today by the passing of Rhodius 'Road' Runner
today, who fell victim to 'acute beeping'...
Mike: ... the coroner declared that the bird had it coming for some time,
although the medic on the scene first, Dr. Wiley Coyote, did comment that
Mr. Runner was 'delicious!'

> Sylia shut the pager off and set it to vibrate. Then, as an
>afterthought, she checked the time.
> 1:07 AM.

Crow: (as Sylia) Damn! I missed most of Conan O'Brian again!

> Sylia shook her head. When they'd begun, it had been early
>afternoon, no later than three o'clock. She'd lost track of time after
>the sex had begun, but even so...

Mike: Well, I guess ten hours of hot sex DOES sort of make up for all those
years being a frigid bitch.
Tom: (as Sylia) I can hardly wait until we do this again next decade!

> "Come on, children, time to wake up," she grumbled, shaking
>one sleeping body after another. Slowly, shakily, the other Knight
>Sabers pulled themselves onto their hands and knees, then sitting,
>exhausted by the incredible sexual experience they had just
>experienced.

Tom: Fanfic, think how *we* must feel.
Crow: (looking back behind him) Mike, why do the theater doors have all
those marks on them, and why are my claws so bent out of shape?
Mike: (laughs) Ah...

> "Owwww... my head..." Nene whimpered.
> "I'm so fucking -sore.-" Priss grumbled, crawling off the bed.

Crow: She says this after every kegger, and yet, every time she goes back.

> "I smell awful!" Linna griped.

Tom: (laughs) That's Linna, always the objective thinker!

>"What the hell were we all doing?" Moments after she said the words,
>Linna's eyes widened as she remembered exactly what had happened. The same
>light of understanding was mirrored in the others' faces. Slowly, the full
>realization of what they had done sank in.

Mike: ... and began cursing the name of 'Overstreet' profusely.

> "I fucked... my own brother..." Sylia murmured, staring at the
>unconscious form lying completely limp on the half-broken bed.

Crow: Well, at the very least, rednecks will welcome her as one of their
own, now!

> "I... fucked... Mackie Stingray," Priss gasped, reaching down
>and wiping a glob of congealed cum from her pussy.

Tom: Odd sort of a souvenir, but...

> "I... lost my virginity... to... Nene," Linna whispered,
>quivering.
> "You know what? I wanna do it all again!" Nene said, looking
>at the other women half-innocently, half-excitedly.

All: D'OH!
Mike: No! No you do *not*! Take that back this *instant*!
Crow: Please God, let it be really over...

> Slowly, smiles spread around the room. At last, Priss said,
>"Hey, Sylia can you trigger that thing Mackie had again?"
>
>
> -THE END-

Crow: Oh, swell. Now I have to start going back to church!

>(and now, some unnecessary author blathering by Kris Overstreet.)
>
> Ah, so you made it through the whole thing.

Tom: Just barely, Overstreet, and I'd love to have a word with you about
that...

> Let me say one thing: SUKEBE!! };-{D
> Ahem. Anyway, despite Larry's apparent insistence to blame
>this entirely on me [I did no such! -LRM], I must point out that it
>was his idea which prompted the project.

Mike: (as Overstreet) My vivid depictions of hot sweaty butt-sex were
*purely* in the line of duty...

>After all, I'm not even that big a fan of BGC.

Mike: (laughs)
Tom: So, this lemon is more of a NON-fanfic.

>I've seen the series, to be sure, and there are several fanfics I'm
>fond of, but in general BGC has never inspired that intense a response
>in me.

Crow: (as Overstreet) Cutie Honey, yes, Knight Sabers, no...

>It took a true otaku- Larry- to take a point from Adam Warren's take on the
>Knight Sabers and turn it into the plot for a true perv-o-rama. }:-{D

Mike: Ya get the idea that Overstreet has a mustache?
Tom: Naw, that could be his mouth, and he just has a bizarre chin.

> Anyway, working on this project was interesting on many
>levels, as you might imagine. Among other things, it was intriguing to
>see how Larry's writing style and mine interacted.

Crow: (as Overstreet) He chews on his pencils, too!

>(My writing style, for instance, consisting of nagging my partner on
>multiple
>occasions to do something with his stuff- and then stalling for months on
>the
>editing chores when he does turn it in.)

Tom: Overstreet has a promising career in Washington!

> Larry and I are two different types of writer of course, and
>the difference is made blatantly obvious in this work.

Crow: (as Overstreet) All the dialogue in Swedish, for example, is mine.

>For example, Larry would write a candlelight dinner scene in which the
>two participants would eat, exchange meaningful love dialogue, and then
>walk quietly off to the bedroom for some gentle and tender lovemaking...

Mike: The Danielle Steele approach...

>whereas I would have the female mention that the meal didn't include
>the minimum daily requirement of pussy,

Mike: The Larry Flint approach!
Crow: (snickers)

>and well you can see where that goes from there.

Crow: See it?! Man, we just *experienced* it!
Mike: And we're alive to tell about it!

> Blame it on mental illness,

Tom: Check...

>blame it on being a product of a broken home,

Tom: Will do...

>blame it on the mass media,

Tom: Got it...

>blame it on Senator Exon if it makes you feel better...

Tom: I'll put that one down *twice*...
Mike: (laughs)

>but simply put, I don't believe there is a valid reason to write a graphic
>sex scene in a story unless that sex scene -is- the story. And if it is the
>entire story, it -deserves- to be silly, dammit.

All: (launch into a lively rendition of the 'Merry Melodies' tune)

> And by the way, should Larry and I decide to do a sequel (ha!
>fat chance!) don't be surprised to see that line in there.

Crow: (as Overstreet) Where we have Priss become an official chain-smoking,
ass-kicking biker dyke.

> Anyway, hope you enjoyed that little bit of sicko silliness.
>Don't ask for more, there ain't any. };-{D
>
> ---Kris Overstreet

Tom: It's over! He's signing off! DONE!!!

>Kris Overstreet, will write for food... | "The universe is already mad.
>http://www.txdirect.net/users/redneck   | Everything else is redundant."
>Webmaster for Antarctic Press           | --- Londo Mollari, BABYLON 5
>http://www.antarctic-press.com/         |   ***QUESTION EVERYTHING***

Crow: Some how, it don't surprise me this guy lives close to the South
Pole...

>(Any opinions expressed in this post are not those of Antarctic Press.)

Mike: Natch. Well, that's all for me, my buckos. (picks up Tom)
Crow: Yah suppose we could forget about the 'Beavis' episode, Mike?
Mike: Ho, no, Cambot's got it ALL on tape...
Crow: Man...

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]

"I have... dishonored myself. I am personally filled with shame and
pudding."
"Oh, knock it off, Crow." Tom looked at the golden robot. They were alone
on the bridge. "Just because you let your inner, primal nature take over is
not reason to get your net in a bunch."
Crow's vocal circuits simulated a choked sob. "B-but it's so
e-embarrassing!"
"Nonsense. We all have some aspect of our true natures that slip out from
time to time. In fact, my inner essence happens to do a reasonable
impression of David Bowie."
"R-really?"
"Sure. Watch." Tom ducked behind the console and came back up wearing a
fright wig, body stocking, and makeup. "Oi! Ground control to Major Tom...
Take yer protein pill and put yer helmet oooon...."
Mike, once again dressed in his cowboy and slightly beat up old guitar,
entered from the right and launched into his own song. "Happy
Traaaaaailllss..."
"Wow! Now I feel much better, since you guys are obviously MUCH more
screwed up than me! Heh! Heh-heh! TP for mine bunghole!" Crow assumed a
Beavis-stride and began stalking around the bridge, while Mike-Woody and
Servo-Bowie continued their impromptu jam session. At this point, Gypsy
couldn't take it anymore and rolled into the fray wearing a Carmine Maranda
fruit bonnet, and general chaos ensued.

[Castle Forrester]

"Yes... YES! I've done it!" said Pearl Forrester with glee. " I've finally
pushed that addled-minded wretch over the brink! Momma, your baby Pearl's
done real good!" She paused to light up a big fat victory cigar she'd been
saving just for this occasion.
Bobo, curious at all the excitement, wandered in. Pearl gave her cigar a
few triumphant puffs of smoke.

[SoL Bridge]

"Uh, not to put a cork in your happy fizz, Mrs. F," said Mike, becoming
himself again for a moment. "... but it's the NANITES that are making me do
this, not you or the movie, per se." He then continued into a lively
rendition of "Momma, don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys".

[Castle Forrester]

Pearl's face fell, her cigar drooping off her lips.
"Yeow! Play that funky music, hairless boy..." as Bobo started to disco.
Pearl's expression didn't change as she backhanded him. *SMACK!* The ape
fell to the ground in a heap.
"Alright, 'Roy Rogers'..." started Pearl. "You may have dodged the bullet
THIS time, but just you wait... I'll find one that'll make you wish you KNEW
'where have all the cowboys gone'..." She stopped and stared as Bobo got off
the floor. He had a little red fez on his head and a pair of cymbals in his
hands. He proceeded to march around banging the latter together, screeching
happily all the while. "Great, now I caused Hairball to revert back to HIS
primal form... well, I can fix that." Pearl grabbed a giant mallet from
nearby and slowly crept behind Bobo...

[Fade to Black]

The Placid Jack Acid writes:

What... a lot... of LEMON! Nearly 250k worth of orgy and skits. Isn't
technology grand? Aren't you glad you bought a computer now?

[Warning: Read the following only if you're interested how a MSTing is made,
and a few tips on how to improve your own MSTings! Otherwise, please skip to
the credits!]

It's rare of an MSTer to tackle such a big project by his or her lonesome,
but that's what you have here- an MSTing that I've worked on and off over
the last two years during my 'sabbatical'. It's a fairly decent MSTing by my
own standards, despite the fact I really didn't have a whole lot to work
with- the spelling and grammar was decent, and the basic plot was pretty
good. I liked the set up for this lemon too- a plausible explanation (or
excuse) for all the madness that happens latter on. And I've never seen BGC
or any of it's incarnations, meaning harping on OOC-ness was out (and since
the authors put up a disclaimer warning us it was OOC all the way already,
it wouldn't of felt right ta nit-pick!)- so what I was left with was all
that zany sex to make fun of. As a result, my MSTing material is spread
rather thin- you notice Mike and the Bots complain about using the same gag
twice in a couple of instances, and most of the MSTing has them itching to
get out of the theater even MORE than usual- too much of a good thing, I
suppose.

Like my previous four episodes, most of this MSTing was completed in early
1998. I authored a majority of the skits and the last half of Part Three
only recently. Regardless, as with the other four, I made many minor
revisions prior to re-release (edited some dated riffs, deleted the ones
that weren't terribly funny and added some that hopefully were). Notably, I
tossed out a bunch of 'Crow/Mike' riffs (where Crow says something perverted
and Mike rebukes him by saying in a wary tone, "Crow...) that didn't really
need to be there. However, even with the downsizing, you'll still see quite
a few variations of this cliche. The worse part is, since this was a lemon,
there are few BETTER opportunities for Crow to make perverted comments.
(Crow's hentainess and the entire Crow/Joel syndrome, by the way, was mostly
an invention of Megane 6.7 in his earlier MSTings- and today he himself
tends to shy away from its practice).

And now you know... the REST of the story... now roll them credits!

Special Thanks to:

Kris Overstreet, aka Redneck Gaijin- the co-author of this story and the
publisher, White Lightning Prod. - www.wlpcomics.com. Home of the
Magnificent Milkmaid and other tales of classic literature. Stay Tuned...

Larry Mann, who was the OTHER author, who bravely clung to the plot right up
to point when the panties started to drop.

Megane 6.7, for getting me on this MSTing kick, and teaching me all I needed
to know about MSTing. His webpage: http://www.nabiki.com/mst

Zoogz, my webmaster and all-around swell guy, who also has his MSTings at
the above address. But if you found THIS MSTing already, you've already
found his and Megane's, right? ^_-

Jen, just because she's Jen.

Lisu and her crew, who are a source of some of my inspiration. Shine
on, Loony one.

The good folk at #EcchiFanGirls, found at www.sorcery.net, who are the
source of the REST of my inspiration. Even if they *are* perverts!

Haloflux, who is the best kitty-girl-shade-thief-mage-vampire I know!

Website #9's guidelines to Usenet MSTings. It came in handy...

Best Brains, for screwing up my childhood (but in a good way) from age
eleven up to today, at twenty one. May the way of the Hero lead to the
Triforce.

After all, Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters
and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc.
All rights reserved, I wouldn't have it any other way!
Use here is for entertainment purposes only and no violation of
copyright is intended or should be inferred, so help me God.

Keep Circulating the Posts...

>
>Fuck ne, Nene!

All: (laugh)
Mike: *She* is the knight that goes, 'Ni!'

Jack Acid Area
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