[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]

 "Ya know, Crow, today's movie has inspired me to new heights!"
 "You mean you're inspired to write a poem, paint, compose a song?"
 "Nah, now I feel like fire-bombing a lingerie store..."
 "Yeah, me too..."
 Mike tottered into the room hauling a tray of Ritz crackers, 'Easy Cheeze',
and other assorted snacks he had been saving for a movie like today's.
"There, there, my lads, chin up! You must admit that we've seen *much* worse
written lemons than 'Bubble Gum Pink'. In fact, I think the authors have a
*lot* of talent, it's just the mindless OOC sex we're harping on. And they
even warned us going in it would get silly!... frosty glass of 'Canadian
Dry'?"
 "Ah, but of course. No ice in mine, please. But, Mike! Even if *Hemmingway*
wrote today's lemon, it'd still be painful! I mean, really, why of all times
for Sylia's libido to finally kick in, did it have to be the same time that
Mackie is disturbingly horny and helpless?"
 "It's called 'coincidence', Servo. Mmmhmm! That's good sharp cheddar!"
 "Ooooh, baby! Kosher Dills!" Crow fumbled with the lid, forgetting that his
arms didn't work all that well. "Grrr..."
 "Well, sure, Mike, (fix me another Ritz, please?) but even if having sex
*was* the only way to save her brother, why does Sylia have to drag the rest
of the Sabers into the mess? If Mackie is unconscious, how could he tell
between Sylia and another girl? (Hey, stick another slice of ham on that
baby! Yeah!)"
 Mike dutifully passed over the snack cracker to Tom, thinking over what the
robot had just said. "Well... perhaps even if Mackie can't tell them apart,
the microphanges can? Oh, here, Crow!" Mike opened the bottle of pickles for
Crow, who had been pounding the lid with his beak out of desperation.
 "(munch, munch) Okay, (chew, gulp) I'll give you that much, Nelson, but can
you explain how in the hell she, (burp) excuse me, how Sylia is going to
convince the rest of the Knight Sabers to do the nasty with her perverted
sibling?"
 "Ah! Got that covered in the 'meaningless drivel' clause in the
beginning..."
 "Oh, then... I guess the finally question is, why the hell am I eating all
this? I'm a robot, remember?"
 "Uhhh..." Mike was cut off by that ever pleasent sensation of having the
bridge deck shake while piercing sirens screamed doomsday around him. "WE
HAVE LEMON SIGN!!"
 

[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater]
 

(Mike and the bots take their usual places)
Tom:   I wanted some ANSWERS dammit...
Mike:  Hey, you should really just relax!
 

>        The screens had gone blank and the tape had stopped,
 

Crow:  It was the day DVD's completely upsurped the VHS market...
 

>but for a moment the cries of pleasure continued anyway, as the real
>Sylia's
>fingering of herself reached a fever pitch.
 

Tom:   There's the wind-up...
 

>  She stiffened,
 

Tom:   ... and the pitch...
 

>and her skirt and panties were promptly saturated with cream as she
>shuddered and moaned, riding the crest of a long, long overdue orgasm.
 

Tom:   ... and the climax!
Mike:  Up, up, UP, over the fence! It is *OUTTA* here!
Crow:  HOME RUN!!!
 

>       For a moment, she just sat there, panting quietly.
 

All:   (imitate a panting dog)
 

>  <My God...> she thought.  <I haven't felt that in years...>
 

Crow:  (as Sylia) Now I feel so *dirty*!
 

>  She thought about what had brought it on, thought some more about what
>would have to happen now in order to save Mackie.
 

Tom:   (as Sylia) Nah, too much trouble. I'll just let him die!
 

>        A plan began to form in her mind.  A very exciting plan.
 

Crow:  A *buttery* plan!
 

>***LEMON WARNING!!!***
 

Mike:  Get out the Lemon-Aid!
 

>***GRAPHIC AND SILLY DEPICTIONS OF GRATUITOUS SEX  AHEAD!***
 

Tom:   The John Wayne Bobbit Story!
 

>***IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW!***
 

Crow:  Well, I'm *five hundred* eighteen, anyway...
 

>***IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW!***
 

Mike:  Ha! Told you that your hentai mind would cost you someday, Crow!
Crow:  Bite me!
 

>***IF YOUR NAME IS MORGAN HOSTETLER, JR., DELETE THIS MESSAGE NOW!***
 

Tom:   Listening, Morgan?
 

>***I'M REALLY SERIOUS, CRAZY SHIT AHEAD!***
 

Crow:  Hey, if I could sit through an Oscarfic, bring it on, Overstreet!
 

>***OKAY, YOU ASKED FOR IT.****
 

Crow:  Fine! Let's see who flinches first, Hentai!
Tom:   Mike, he's hollering at the fanfic...
Mike:  So?
Tom:   ... and the fanfic is hollering *back!*
Mike:  Uh, oh...
 

>        Act 3
 

Tom:   Second verse, inane as the first!
 

>        Priss, Linna and Nene waited in the briefing room,
 

Crow:  If their 'briefing' involves whip cream and pudding, we're outta
here...
 

>making small talk and wondering what exactly was going on.
 

Mike:  ... so, pretty much what *we're* doing.
Tom:   (snickers)
 

>  While getting a page in the middle of the day was unusual, it was not
>unheard of.
 

Crow:  Sometimes they get *two* pages!
Tom:   Once, an entire chapter!
 

>Still, none of them had heard anything about a rampant Boomer on the
>news or police bands, and Sylia hadn't even given them details yet.
 

Tom:   She said, 'each of you take a gun, and follow me'...
Mike:  Ah, yes. The Charge of the Knight Brigade.
 

>        They weren't idle for long.
 

Mike:  Boys, I'd say it's finally 'later'.
Bots:  (blandly) Yay.
 

>Sylia entered the room, looking uncharacteristically worried.
 

Tom:   It's triple coupon day at the Silky Doll, and she misquoted the sale
items!
Crow:  Dear God! They have to get out of Japan!
 

>The expression silenced the three more effectively than any order;
 

Crow:  Well, that and the fact she was holding a flame-thrower.
 

>Sylia almost never showed open emotion.
 

Mike:  Except, of course, during Monday Night Bingo!
 

>Nene wondered if she saw a faint glint of something else in Sylia's
>eyes too.  "Sylia?  Are you all right?"
 

Crow:  *Hell* no...
 

>        "I'm fine," she said gravely.  "Mackie, on the other hand..."
>        "Mackie?" Linna asked, concerned.  "What's wrong?"
>        "Follow me," Sylia said.  "I'll explain on the way."
 

Tom:   ... which, she did. Next scene!
 

>        The door to Sylia's large bedroom opened, and the four Sabers
>stepped through, and Nene, Priss and Linna all stopped dead in their
>tracks.
 

Mike:  Reverse course! Retreat!!
 

>  The main reason for this, of course, was the fact that they
>had just been confronted by the sight of Mackie,
 

Crow:  ... unpleasant...
 

>naked,
 

Tom:   ... *very* unpleasant...
 

>lying on Sylia's bed and moaning incoherently,
 

Mike:  ... *extremely* unpleasant...
 

>with a raging seven-inch erection standing at attention like a proud
>flagbearer.
 

Mike and Tom: RUN!!!
Crow:  (singing) Oh, say can you see? By the dawn's early light...
 

>        "As you can see," Sylia said before any of them could say or
>do anything,  "he's currently in an advanced state of delirium, which
>will get progressively worse as the hormonal levels in his body become
>increasingly unbalanced.
 

Mike:  (as Sylia) Oh, and besides that he's going through puberty, his life
is in danger.
Bots:  (laugh)
 

>  And as I said, this is the result of
 

Tom:   ... a commie plot!
 

>numerous fantasies about the four of us..."  She turned and looked straight
>at them.
>  "Fantasies which must be physically fulfilled in order to stabilize him."
 

Crow:  Bottom line, he needs some nasty and *fast*!
 

>        The others paled.
>        "You're saying..." Priss replied, with disbelief, "...that we
>have to... fuck him??"
 

Mike:  (as Sylia) Well, yes. Got a problem with that?
Crow:  She'd be crazy if she *didn't*...
 

>        "That's exactly what I'm saying," Sylia replied evenly.
>        "You have *got* to be kidding!" Priss snapped, obviously
>disgusted at the notion.
 

Tom:   No, if she was kidding, she'd say your epidermis is showing.!
 

>        "Priss," Sylia barked irritably.  "His life is in danger!
>Without you, he might not make it!"
 

Crow:  ... and the *down* side to that would be...?
 

>        "*No*." Priss said firmly.  Linna looked ready to side
>with her as well.  Nene said nothing; she looked uncomfortable but
>not quite as much as the others.
 

Mike:  (as Nene) Maybe if I could get her guard down, I could make break for
it!
 

>        "Right," Sylia said, a steely glare forming in her eyes.  She would
>have preferred that it all be done voluntarily, but that obviously was not
>going to happen.
 

Mike:  Obviously not.
Crow:  Face it. Mackie's a goner, end of story, we can leave now...
 

>  "I didn't want to do this, but..."
 

Tom:   (as Sylia) ... what am I saying? Of *course* I want to do this!
 

>She reached into a pocket in her purse and withdrew a small remote
>control, pressing a small switch on its side.
 

Mike:  And out in the back alley, a garage door opens...
Tom:   (snickers)
 

>        All outside light was abruptly cut off as steel plates slammed
>down across all the windows.  At the same time, the bedroom door
>slammed shut and locked, as did all the other doors in the building.
 

Crow:  Moments later, the missiles began launching!
Mike:  (laughs) A last ditch effort against the Boomers gone HORRIBLY
WRONG!!!
 

>        "None of us are going to leave here until *that*..." Sylia
>said firmly, pointing to Mackie's giant hard-on.  "Is gone."
 

Tom:   ... Gone with the Wind.
 

>        Priss, Linna and Nene gaped at Sylia, glancing every now and
>again at the rigid seven inches jutting up over Mackie's tight stomach.
 

Mike:  The amazing eight-hour erection!
Tom:   Ribbed, for her pleasure...
 

>At first, none of them could say a thing.
 

Crow:  ... save, of course, the authors.
 

>        Then, everyone spoke at once.
 

All:   (as the Knight Sabers) Bite me, Sylia!
 

>        "Sylia, please! You can't do this!" Linna begged, eyes
>pleading for mercy.
 

Tom:   (as Linna) Just *shoot* me now instead!
 

>        "There ain't no way I'm humping his skanky ass!" Priss
>shouted.
 

Crow:  Well put...
Mike:  She used a double negative, therefore there *is* a way...
Tom:   That's the trouble with these here dubbed anime...
 

>        "Aw, SYLIA..." Nene just whined, pouting cutely.
 

Mike:  That's not going to work *this* time, Nene...
Crow:  You're going to have sex with her brother, and like it!
 

>        Sylia held up her hand, her steely glare silencing the others.
 

Tom:   Hail Caesar!
 

>"I can't believe you've forgotten just how much we owe to Mackie," she
>said at last.
 

Crow:  (as Sylia) His constant peeping always keeps us on our toes!
 

>"He keeps our equipment in top condition. He smuggles us
>in and out of mission zones. He gathers information from time to time,
>he watches our backs in combat...
 

Tom:   He watches their *fronts* too, come to think of it...
 

>he's as much a Knight Saber as the rest of us."
 

Mike:  ... except that, of course, he works off the books.
 

>        The other three looked slightly ashamed of themselves, but
>Priss said, "Do we really have to fuck him, Sylia?"
 

Crow:  Good question. Rebuttal, Sylia?
 

>        "There's no other way," Sylia said.
 

Tom:   (deep voice) It is your destiny...
Crow:  Sure there's another way! Just hook him into a vacuum cleaner!
Mike:  (backhands Crow) *WHUNK*
Crow:  OW! Hey! It could work!
 

>Smiling a small, secretive grin, she continued, "However, I suspected the
>three of you would be less than enthusiastic... so I brought some aides..."
 

Mike:  Couple jars of Vaseline and a few tabs of 'Ecstasy'...
Tom:   Standard Issue Lemon-Aids!
Crow:  (snickers)
 

>Reaching into her purse, Sylia brought out a large vibrating dildo, ridges
>and bumps covering the lower half of its surface.
 

Mike:  Uncanny! It's shaped just like Ross Perot's head!
 

>Then, she pulled out a second dildo, this one double-headed with straps for
>a harness.
 

Tom:   ... standard hentai issue stuff, you understand.
Crow:  I get that impression...
 

>A third, smooth vibrator followed- the standard one advertised as a
>"massager" in the same mail-order catalogs that advertised bottle-opening
>wrenches and windshield covers for the housewife.
 

Mike:  Found in the 'pervert' section of any given J.C. Penny's circular.
 

>The three junior partners stared and gulped as Sylia laid the tools out
>before them.
 

Tom:   I don't see how this stuff will help *Mackie* any...
Mike:  To quote, 'This is meaningless drivel, please don't sue.'
Crow:  Yeah! Just sit back... and enjoy the view!
 

>        Finally, Sylia brought out a small carton. Inside lay eight
>small vials of clear liquid, each with a different colored stopper.
 

Tom:   Sylia picked a hell of a time to show around her 'Avon' samples...
 

>Holding up one vial, Sylia said, "This is what I call liquid courage.
>Basically, it's a very powerful psychoactive chemical, which generates
>overwhelming lust in the user."
 

Crow:  In other words, SSSSSSSUUUUUUURRRRRRGE!!!!
 

>Staring at the vial in her hand, she flushed slightly and said, "I invented
>it when I was still in school, busy cramming my childhood into as short a
>period as possible so I could have time for my mission.
 

Tom:   But, isn't that the entire point of the Japanese schooling system?
Mike:  (winces) Yikes...
 

>Those were some wild times."
 

Mike:  Or, so she's been told...
 

>        Priss looked warily at the vial. "I dunno..." she said. "I
>feel really uncomfortable about all this..."
 

Crow:  *Tell* us about it, Prissy...
Mike:  I feel nauseous, and the lemon's still just warming up! Gack!
 

>She turned to Nene to ask if she agreed, and was shocked to see Nene's
>ADPolice uniform jacket on the floor, her hands feeling up her breasts up
>through her blouse.
 

Tom:   And if you read the last sentence closely enough, you can see the
*exact* point where Overstreet took over for Mann.
Crow:  Oh yeah, I see it! Keen!
 

>        "Speak for... ooh... yourself," Nene said. "Whoa... this is
>better than the stuff I had to file down in the Vice Squad's records
>department."
 

Mike:  Uh, Nene, honey? You haven't taken any of the stuff yet!
Tom:   So, she used to file paint thinner and leaky propane bottles?
 

>        Linna looked on, sweating, face pale instead of flushed. "I...
>I can't do it," she said at last.
 

Crow:  Good girl!
Tom:   Mackie's no big loss!
Mike:  You'll respect yourself all the more, really!
 

>        Sylia smiled. "Don't worry," she said quietly, "I'll go first,
>just to show you there's nothing wrong about it."
 

Mike:  (laughs) Incest is wrong? No way!
Tom:   Get outta here!
 

>        "It's not that," Linna said. In a soft whisper, she said,
>"I... I've... I've never done it... with anyone."
 

Crow:  So...?
Tom:   That's a *bad* thing?
 

>        Sylia's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Never? Then what happened
>to your hymen? It doesn't show on your medical scans."
 

Mike:  Not that she was interested, or anything!
 

>        "It broke when I was fourteen," she said, "during dance class.
>But I've never... I haven't even done much fondling with anyone."
 

Tom:   Her first base is gathering cobwebs.
 

>        "But all those boyfriends!" Priss gasped. "I mean, surely,
>with one of them-"
 

Crow:  She's a blushing bridesmaid! Get over it!
 

>        "Why do you think they kept dumping her?" Nene husked, leering
>cutely at the blushing Linna.
 

Crow:  See? Blushing!
Mike:  Bitch, thy name's Nene...
 

>       "NENE!" Linna gasped.
 

Mike:   Oh, she must be the Knight that goes, 'Ne'!
Tom:   Shut *up*, Mike...
Crow:  I *hate* you, Nelson...
 

>        "Enough," Sylia sighed. "I'll start in on Mackie. Linna, I
>want you to follow me."
>        "But, Sylia, I... I... I don't know if I can..." Linna
>stuttered, trembling slightly.
 

Tom:   Uh, oh, the authors left a shred of self-respect in Linna...
Crow:  How'd *that* get in there?
 

>        "Don't worry," Nene said, "I'll help you." Her hands left her
>blouse and traced Linna's curves gently,
 

Mike:  A sure test of Nene's power steering system, ifyaknowwhatImean!
 

>wrenching a gasp from the aerobically trim yet shapely woman. Through her
>blouse, twin bullets appeared, poking tiny mounds above her breasts.
 

Crow:  Bang! Bang!
Tom:   Fastest draw in the East...
 

>        "You people are nuts," Priss said. "I'm not having any part of
>this!" she grumbled, and she turned to one side and sulked.
 

Mike:  Ye gads. It's almost as if she possesses a will of her own!
Tom:   And in a lemon, yet!
 

>        Sylia set three more vials aside, and with a breath of
>apprehension, she removed the stopper from her vial. Gasping slightly,
>she steeled her will, and in a swift motion she gulped down the
>contents, smacking her lips afterwards.
 

Crow:  Which--?
Mike:  (twirling around) Say it and die, Crow.
Crow:  --of you guys would like pizza rolls for supper tonight?
Tom:   Nice save! Really nice!
 

>        The mixture hit her stomach, immediately bringing a warm glow
>to Sylia's core.
 

Mike:  Oops! That was her flask of Jimmy Bean, our mistake...
 

>Suddenly, a wave of passion ran through her, shaking her body, and her sex
>moistened with the anticipation of action. My God, she thought, I'd
>forgotten how suddenly the stuff acts. Not to mention how strong!
 

Crow:  Filmed in Peep-O-Vision!
Tom:   (laughs)
 

>        Sylia felt her bra tighten- no, she tried to reason, it only
>feels that way because of the drug- across her breasts.
 

Tom:   Brought to you by Madienform Bra...
 

>Sweat beaded on her skin, and she felt the warmth of her lust overwhelm
>her.
>Slowly, sensuously, she removed her outer clothing, business jacket first,
>then blouse, revealing the white lacy restraint which was beginning to
>drive her mad.
 

Mike:  MAd, I say! mAd, MaD, MAAAAAAD!!!!
 

>Reaching to undo the clasp, Sylia stopped and instead cupped her heavy
>bosoms in her hands. Grasping her rigid nipples through the thick fabric,
>she pinched them slightly.
 

Crow:  How utterly MAD!
 

>        Then, the other Knight Sabers learned something about Sylia
>they would never have guessed.
 

Mike:  Sylia was, in reality, 50% male.
Crow:  Mike, don't even *JOKE* about that!
Mike:  Why? *You* did!
Crow:  Oh yeah... Sorry, guys...
Tom:   Ugh, too late. I'm having Oscar flashbacks...
 

>        Sylia was a Howler.
 

Tom:   ... Vincent Howler the third, of 'Gilligan's Island' fame...
Mike:  Cute, Servo...
 

>        From deep within her soul, Sylia felt the intense wave of
>passion build into a knot, and with a rough twist of her breasts, she
>sent herself over the edge, howling with unabashed delight as she
>climaxed.
 

All:   (singing) I love to tur-hur-hur-hur-hur-hun yoooou ooooooon!
 

>Feminine juices stained her skirt and completely soaked the crotch of her
>panties,
 

All:   EEEEEEWWW!!!
 

>but the executive paid no heed as she rode the whirlwind of lust to her own
>personal Oz.
 

Crow:  (singing) She got off to see the Wizard!
Mike:  Crow! That's... actually pretty clever...
 

>"oooooh myyyyyy GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!" she screeched at last, ripping the lace
>bra off hertender, swollen jugs, and with a final spasm, she fell forward,
>panting.
 

Tom:   Timber!
 

>        Priss gaped openly at the woman she'd assumed to be the perfect Ice
>Queen before; obviously, she thought, she's been hiding a lot more from us
>than we thought!
 

Mike:  (imitating a pirate) Arrr, she's been hiding her buried treasure, she
has...
 

>She continued to stare at the recovering Stingray, unaware of her own
>vagina moistening, her nipples stirring under her thin shirt and biker
>jacket.
 

Crow:  Never mind. Priss has the same jelly-like spine as the rest of
them...
Tom:   Oh, good, I just *hate* it when a character tries to think for
herself!
 

>        Meanwhile, Linna stared almost in a trance at Sylia, not
>thinking, scarcely breathing, definitely not noticing that Nene had
>already pushed her pullover shirt and bra up to her neck and was now
>massaging her breasts without interference.
 

Mike:  (as Nene) Now, if I can just get past the damn chastity belt...
 

>As Sylia rose on her knees and slowly pushed her skirt and panties down
>from her waist, exposing her geometrically perfect ass and sopping cunt,
>Linna licked her lips absentmindedly.
 

Tom:   Showing off her athletic abilities again, I see.
Crow:  Hey! How come he can make comments like that?
Mike:  He's a little more subtle about it than you are.
Crow:  Aw, come on!
 

>        "Oh, Linna," Nene cooed in her ear (cutely of course), "you're
>having fun, aren't you?"
 

Mike:  (as Linna) Well, granted, it does get my heart rate going at a nice
clip...
Tom:   Talk about a die-hard fitness fanatics.
 

>Suddenly, Linna moaned loudly; Nene was running her hand over the crotch of
>her jeans, which already had a dark spot on them from Linna's awakening
>lust. "For someone who's never done it, you're ready to make up for lost
>time, aren't you?"
 

Crow:  (as Linna) You mean I have a *choice*?
 

>        Smiling, Nene stood Linna up gently, pausing to kiss first one
>nipple and then the other. "You're so beautiful, Linna," Nene said. "I
>can see why those boyfriends of yours get so frustrated at you..."
 

Mike:  (as Nene) It really *is* this damn chastity belt...
Tom:   (snickers) Got a screwdriver?
 

>Then, Nene's hands returned to Linna's crotch, this time unbuttoning
>the fly on her jeans, one by one.
 

Tom:   Fifty-one, fifty-two... seventy-five...
 

>Then, having loosened the formerly skin-tight garment to a workable level,
>the Russian redhead slipped a hand into Linna's panties, caressing her bush
>and sending her into new heights of senselessness.
 

Crow:  She's not the only one, right guys?
 

>        Priss looked from Sylia, who was fingering her own pubic
>growth and teasing her clitoris, to Nene and Linna, the former of whom
>was feeling the latter up beyond belief, and said, "Shit, you're _all_
>perverts!"
 

All:   (applause)
Mike:  (British accent) Well said!
Crow:  (ditto) Here, here! Bloody well put!
 

>        Sylia just smiled and looked at her lustily. "Your time will
>come, Sweetling," she said, and Priss trembled herself, fear mixed
>with a strange desire to join the naked woman on the floor.
 

Tom:   Actually, she was flinching at that last pun...
Crow:  (deep voice) In a lemon, all things shall *come* to pass...
Mike:  Crow, please...
 

>"But first," Sylia said, moving up to the bed, "first to give sweet Mackie
>a ride he'll never forget!"
 

Crow:  Give 'em a ride on the ol' Super-Dooper-Looper!!
Tom:   That riff brought to you by Hershey Park, Inc.
 

>        With that, Sylia grasped Mackie's hard-on in her hand, gently
>stroking the handsome length from end to end. In his delerium, Mackie
>moaned,
 

Mike:  (as Mackie, delirious) Your nipples remind me of pansies in the
spring, but they smell like sock water! Stroodle?
 

>"Sylia..." and his hand reached up to draw her head down to the tip of his
>twitching cock. Never one to miss a hint, Sylia took the length into her
>mouth, running her tongue around the tip as she stroked the base with her
>thumb. With her free hand, she massaged- no, mangled- her breasts one by
>one, teasing the nipples and sending quivers of pleasure down her flanks.
 

Tom:   Huh, I'm having a 'Naked Gun 2 1/2' flashback...
Crow:  Thrusting his purple-headed warrior...
Mike:  Thank you Crow, that will be fine.
 

>        Linna watched the incestuous scene before her and roused out
>of her delirium, gasping, "No... No. I'm not- I'm not-"
 

Mike:  GAY!!!
Crow:  GGGAAAAAAYYY!!!
Tom:   (laughs)
 

>        Nene removed her hand from Linna's crotch and touched it to
>Linna's lips.
 

Crow:  Short trip...
Mike:  No, Crow. Wrong kind of...
Bots:  (snicker)
Mike:  Boy, I walked into *that* one...
 

>Linna smacked her lips, tasting the semi-sweet flavor, smelling the
>intoxicating odor of her own juices,
 

Crow:  Mmmm! Tastes just like cherries!
Tom:   Ah, yes. The crude virginity joke...
Mike:  (backhands Crow)
Tom:   ... and the accompanying slapstick gag. Pure MST!
 

>but she still shook her head. "I can't..." she whispered.
 

Tom:   (as Linna) I gave at the office...
 

>        "I think," Nene said, "all you need is a little more courage,"
 

Mike:  (as Nene) The Wizard of Oz is *sure* to give you some...
 

>and she reached for one of the three remaining vials on the floor.
 

Tom:   Pick a flavor, any flavor...
 

>Undoing the stopper, she raised the flask to Linna's lips and tipped
>it in.
 

Crow:  Which... no, I can't bring myself to say it this time...
Mike:  Good man...
 

>Instinctively, with short gulps, Linna swallowed the drug,
>shaking even harder as its effects made themselves known.
 

Crow:  Yeah, that cough syrup can really pack a punch...
Mike:  Linna *does* seem to be affected by it...
Crow:  What Linna? I was talking about the *authors*...
Tom:   Maybe we should switch to their brand. It looks sorta like fun!
 

>        Linna's body, which was already warm, suddenly felt like it
>was on fire. Her nipples grew even more erect, and her clit sent bolts
>of pleasure through her as it rubbed against her plain cotton panties.
 

Mike:  Okay, there's a fancy underwear store just downstairs, and they don't
shop there at *all*? Just plain *cotton?*
Tom:   What about an employee discount? Sylia really *is* a bitch!
 

>The passion she'd denied herself for so long all seemed to be held
>back only by a thin, thin wall, just waiting to cave in.
 

Crow:  With luck, it should bury them all alive...
 

>        Nene smiled and, cutely, 'beeped' her friend's nipple.
 

Tom:   If Nene does *ANYTHING* cutely just *one more time*...
Mike:  ... you'll scream?
Tom:   No, I'm gonna take an axe to the screen.
Crow:  But, your arms don't work!
Tom:   (deadly even) Oh, *there's* a way... I'll *find* one...
 

>The unexpected contact, the sensations, and the excitement of the
>situation all collided, sending Linna over the edge, screaming.
>"AAAAAAAAAAH!"
 

All:   (singing) Look at all the lonely people...
Mike:  Where *do* they all come from?
 

>her voice ripped through the room, covering Sylia and
>Mackie's low moans from the bed. The black spot on her jeans grew
>larger, as Linna
 

Mike:  ... peed herself in all the excitement...
Crow:  Eww!  And I thought she had a handle on that problem, too!
 

>creamed uncontrollably into her panties. Nene grasped her other breast, and
>Linna screamed, "AGAIN! OH! OHHHHHHH GOD!!! OH MY GOD, IT'S SO
>GOOOOOOOOD!!!"
 

Tom:   It's through the uprights!
Crow:  It's GOOOOOOOOOD!!
 

>Shaking and orgasming uncontrollably, Linna shoved her pants down
>frantically, fingers flying to her spurting quim. "I CAN'T STOP
>CUMMING!!!!"
 

Crow:  So, why not try *going*?
Tom:   As in, far, *far* away!
 

>        Nene tried to lean down to lick Linna's breasts, but suddenly
>Linna's hands grabbed her blouse, ripping it open with hysterical
>strength.
 

Tom:   Mike, I keep hearing 'Hee-haw' music, and I don't know why.
Crow:  Yeah, me too...
Mike:  This remake of 'A Streetcar Named Desire' did poorly, I hear...
 

>Snatching away Nene's strapless bra with a rip, Linna grabbed the short
>redhead's melons, bringing them to her face and sucking first one, then the
>other, with unbridled passion.
 

Mike:  That, or she regressed back into an infant.
 

>Her spasms subsided, and with the realization, she guided Nene's hand back
>to her crotch, pressing it against her swollen labia.
 

Crow:  Labeled, for freshness!
 

>        Nene, moaning as Linna's newfound desire began to work her up
>the Golden Stairway, needed no encouragement.
 

Tom:   Oh, how I wish they *did* need encouragement...
 

>First with one finger, then two, Nene finger-fucked Linna's cunt, provoking
>loud moans from the lust-filled woman. The two Knight Sabers moaned louder
>and louder, turned on by their mutual need for release.
 

Mike:  ... out of the story, and quickly as possible.
Crow:  Amen!
 

>        Meanwhile, Sylia had gradually worked her way up Mackie's
>hard-on, practicing techniques she hadn't needed since college,
 

Mike:  ... in 'Foreplay 101', a most popular elective, or so I hear.
 

>swallowing the cockhead and repressing her gag reflex by concentrating
>on the pleasure her hands were giving her.
 

Tom:   But with Mackie's case, the gag reflex doesn't even factor into the
equation...
 

>Having rubbed her breasts into a red, sensitive jelly,
 

Crow:  Strawberry?
Tom:   Raspberry?
Mike:  KT?
Bots:  MIKE!!!
Mike:  Hey, I'm allowed a moment of perversion now and then...
 

>her hand had retreated to her crotch,
 

Crow:  (as her hand) Retreat, troops! She's goin' fer broke!!
Mike:  Crow...
Crow:  So, where's *my* moment of perversion, Mike?
Mike:  The entire MSTing, Crow.
Crow:  Aw, bite me!
 

>where she massaged her clitoris and labia, bringing fresh streams of
>lubricant to her crotch.
>        But, she thought, it isn't enough.
 

Tom:   Sure it is! LET HIM DIE IN PIECE!!
Mike:  You mean 'peace'...
Tom:   NO, I MEAN PIECES!!!
Mike:  Crow, get Tommy some of those Prozac-laced RAM Chips...
Crow:  Can't, he ate them all...
Mike:  Damn!
 

>I need this in me now, she thought, slowly pulling her head back,
>disentangling Mackie's hand from her hair.
 

Crow:  Mackie *is* Lenny Small...
Mike:  (as Lenny) When do I get to pet the rabbits, George?
 

>Climbing over Mackie's horizontal form, she raised her sex over Mackie's
>twitching, saliva-covered erection, and then, with a savage thrust, she
>shoved herself down upon him, impaling herself with
>every last inch of her brother's manhood.
 

Mike:  The first inch, the last inch, and the half-inch in between...
Tom:   Zing!
 

>A low moan escaped her lips,
 

Tom:   Uh, okay, one more time...
Mike:  *sigh*
All:   (warily) Which ones are they?
 

>and as she began to move up and down, the moans rose in volume,
>harmonizing with the Lesbian coos emerging from Linna and Nene.
 

Crow:  Live, from Rockefeller Plaza, it's Lesbian Coos!
Tom:   Tonight, they will be singing their hit single, 'Lovely Linna,
Lemon-aid'...
 

>        Priss sat in her position on the floor, panties now thoroughly
>moist with her own, unattended, unacknowledged, excitement. As she
>watched, Nene slid down Linna's twitching form, preparing to suckle at
>her honey pot.
 

Mike:  My, isn't Nene *friendly*?
Tom:   Linna would be better off with Mackie...
 

>Meanwhile, Sylia bucked and thrashed atop Mackie, whose
>arms had stretched up to grasp and caress her buttcheeks.
 

Tom:   I take it back... She's better off where she is now...
 

>"I don't believe this," Priss whispered, as her friends moaned harder and
>louder.
 

Mike:  Hey, neither can we...
Crow:  Imagine, the Saber with the loosest morals isn't liking this lemon
either...
 

>        Then, standing up, she said, "Oh, fuck it!" and began
 

Tom:   ... to Disco!
 

>stripping off her clothes.
 

Tom:   See? Disco Inferno! Yeow!
Mike:  (laughs)
 

>Jacket, blouse, skirt, bra and panties dropped off her form with a speed
>born of practice,
 

Crow:  ... and perfected by necessity...
 

>and Priss grabbed the smooth vibrator and shoved it buzzing into her twat.
 

Tom:   Aaaaaand... the plot is now totally unbelievable.
Mike:  It held out, I'll give it that much...
Crow:  It was sick to begin with, at least now it's in a better place!
 

>"No... way... am I..."
 

Crow:  (as Priss) ... gonna act in this town again.
Tom:   (as Priss) ... ever again be able to look at myself in a mirror.
Mike:  (as Priss) ... the least bit sane, in any shape or form.
 

>she moaned, rubbing her breasts with her left hand while her right thrust
>the dildo in and out of her pussy with blurred speed, "...not gonna cum...
>before... they..."
 

Tom:   (as Priss) ... go.
Mike:  (snickers) Cut that out!
 

>        Sylia leaned forward on the bed, driving her love-bud against
>Mackie's cock.
 

Crow:  I present to you-- the world's most happiest rooster!
 

>The friction added sent one more jolt of passion up her spine,
 

Mike:  To counter out the shudders of revulsion, one might suspect...
 

>and Sylia reared up,
 

Tom:   Ride 'em, Cowboy!
Crow:  YEEE-HAAAA!!!
 

>vagina muscles clenching as she shoved her brother's cock even deeper than
>it had ever been before.
 

Crow:  Poor rooster! Bet it didn't see *that* coming!
Tom:   But from that perspective, it's hard *not* to see anything coming...
Mike:  Where do you guys get this stuff from?
Crow:  Oh, it *comes* from the heart...
Mike:  (laughs) Well met...
 

>"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!"
 

Mike:  I know the feeling, Sylia. We're in pain, too.
Tom:   Sylia Stingray, siren...
 

>she screamed, letting the orgasm send her
>into spasms, and with frantic need she redoubled her fucking,
 

Crow:  (British accent) She simply redoubled her efforts, as things got all
bunged up...
 

>screaming, "MORE! COME, DAMMIT! GIVE ME MO-O OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!"
 

Mike:  Got milk?
Tom:   Is Sylia having a cow, or what?
Crow:  Maybe she sings 'Roll Over, Beethoven' when she climaxes?
Mike:  That would follow...
 

>        Nene slurped and smacked as she ate Linna's cunt out,
 

Crow:  Cannibal! She's a cannibal!
Tom:   This must be a porno remake of the movie 'Alive'...
 

>drinking deeply of her partner's multi-orgasmic flow.
 

Tom:   Oh, our mistake.
Mike:  Whatever...
 

>Her own internal heat was soaking through her skirt and panties, and her
>breasts felt like they were glowing. She reached a trembling hand behind
>her and slipped it through her waistband, and froze;
 

Crow:  Nene's frigid? She doesn't strike me as the wall-flower type...
 

>then, suddenly and without warning,
 

Tom:   She burst into flames...
Crow:  ... because a tiny F-16 crashed into the side of the building,
killing them all.
Mike:  You guys are still bitter over Wolf, aren't you?
Bots:  Hey Batty! Hang on *this*!
Mike:  Thought so.
 

>she orgasmed, moaning, "Oh, oh, oh that's so gooooooood!" Even as her
>back wrenched in the throes of passion, her hand suddenly flashed into
>Linna's cunt, three fingers jamming into the wet hole, and the thumb
>finding the tight, puckered asshole.
 

Mike:  And what of Nene's pinky? We'll never know...
Tom:   Scout's honor!
 

>At the shock of yet another surprise invasion,
 

Crow:  ... from Mars, no less.
Mike:  No, I think it's all the rogue Boomers, here to join in on the fun...
Tom:   They should of blasted 'em all, now it's the sequel to 'Countess
Chronicles'!
Crow:  Or even worse, 'California Dreamin''... Ugh...
 

>Linna surged into another wave of uncontrollable
>orgasms, coating Nene's invading hand in her love juices.
 

Mike:  But enough of those two lovable rascals! Let's get back to Sylia...
 

>        "MORE! COME, YOU FUCKING PANSY!" Sylia shouted,
 

Tom:   Was that another unintentional pun?
Crow:  Yep.
 

>bucking on Mackie's lap with the fervor of the possessed. "Send me to
>Heaven, baby! Make- me-"
 

Crow:  ... a peanut butter sandwich!
 

>       Priss' orgasm hit, and the singer bit her lip,
 

Mike:  ... completely off, ruining the moment of passion, Mackie dies, the
end.
Tom:   Yeah, *right*...
 

>trying to suppress the cries of pure pleasure which threatened to rip
>her lungs open.
 

Tom:   Wow! That's a really pleasant thought!
Crow:  (as Joker) ... but if anyone calls you a beast... I'll rip his lungs
out...
 

>As she twitched, the vibrator's tip her a tiny point on the inside
>of her twat, sending a wave of rapture straight through her body.
>"GGGUUUUUUUHH!!!!" she gasped, as a second orgasm fell directly
>on the heels of the first. With a final shudder, she collapsed.
 

Mike:  (as news anchor) The city was saddened today by the loss of one Priss
Asagiri, who died last night of a massive heart attack...
Tom:   (ditto) When questioned on what she was doing at the time of her
death, all three of her closest friends quickly replied, 'No comment'...
Crow:  (ditto) In lighter news, a local resident made headlines by becoming
the first permanent sperm donor in history... Film at eleven...
Mike:  (laughs)
 

>        "Make- me- OH!!!!
 

Crow:  Makoto? What's *she* doing here?
Mike:  Research for a sequel to 'Evening at Lita's', is my guess...
Tom:   Maybe Godzilla's not too far behind...
Mike:  We *wish*.
 

>Make me- oh oh oh...." Sylia's rhythm collapsed,
 

Tom:   Go on, finish your sentence, already...
 

>going into totally random spasms, as Mackie's cock finally twitched and
>throbbed, and then, with a moan, he shot his seed into his sister's
>innermost depths.
 

Tom:   I guess we'll never know what she was going to say, now...
Crow:  Uh, oh... I just realized that Mackie isn't wearing a condom...
Mike:  Imagine the kid *that's* gonna make...
All:   (shudder)
 

>        "OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
 

Mike:   Air raid siren! Find cover, QUICK!
Bots:  Put out that light!!
 

>Sylia howled, as her most intense orgasm yet tore through her.
 

Tom:   She's up to three, I think...
Mike:  Orgasms?
Tom:   No, heavy blows to her credibility.
Crow:  (snickers)
 

>Her twat twitched
 

Mike:  Try saying *that* five times fast!
Crow:  Okay...
Mike:  (clamps Crow's mouth shut) I don't think so.
 

>and clenched, forcing Mackie out as she fell forward, squirming and
>howling like an epileptic. "YYYYYYYESSSS!" she screamed to the room,
>as she fell over the edge of ecstacy...
 

Tom:   ... and into total oblivion.
Crow:  Amen.
 

>        ...and the bed; her head caught the bedpost as she fell,
 

Mike:   And went *into* said bedpost...
Bots:  TOGG!!!
 

>-KLONKing- in the sudden quiet, as the Knight Sabers gasped and moaned
>in the afterglow of their lovemaking.
 

Tom:   So *that's* what they called it nowadays...
Crow:  Crazy kids...
 

>        Finally, Sylia managed to rise up, and with a giggle, she
>said, "Switch!"
 

Crow:  YEAH!!! BRING OUT THE SWITCHES!!! AND THE CHAINS, TOO!!!
Mike:  Down, boy...
 

>        Act 4
>
>       "Switch?"  Priss gasped.
 

Crow:  Yeah, that's right. Only, we want you to *turn off*.
 

>"You mean he's still that wound up after all that?"
 

Mike:  If they had bothered to check for a pulse, they would have found
rigor mortis had set in...
Crow:  The stiff's got a stiffie! Heh, heh, heh...
 

>The brunette stood, breasts bouncing freely as she stormed over to Sylia's
>soaking wet body.
 

Tom:   Get it, *stormed*? And Sylia's soaking wet...? Oh, *forget* it!
 

>        Sylia looked up and smiled. The spectacular orgasm had helped clear
>her mind for the moment, but her desire was already beginning to
>return.
 

Mike:  Actually, Crow, that vacuum cleaner idea wasn't half bad...
Crow:  Really? Wow!
Mike:  Yeah, just don't get a big head...
Tom:   (snickers) Like Mackie!
Crow:  *Damn* you, Servo...
 

>Before long, she'd be beyond explanations herself.
 

Crow:  The 'meaningless drivel' tact was fine before, why change now?
 

>"My dear sweet... um, Priss... Mackie is hardly out of danger. Look at
>him," she said, gesturing to the moaning, still-unconscious Stingray, "he's
>still hallucinating, and more importantly, he's still hard as a rock."
 

Mike:  ... but enough about his skull, what about the erection?
Tom:   Zing, zap, zowie!
 

>Which was also true; in fact, it seemed as if Mackie's twitching prick
>had managed to grow another inch somehow, as it stood proudly in its
>coating of male and female cum.
 

Tom:   Bringing him up to a grand total of *four*...
Crow:  Ya know, if it wasn't for the explicit descriptions of body fluids, I
almost could *like* this...
 

>        "Now, Linna," Sylia said, crawling over to the still-panting
>young woman, "it's your turn."
 

Mike:  ... she said, firing up her lightsaber.
 

>Gently bringing Linna's face close to hers, Sylia kissed her, first gently,
>then passionately, tongue slipping through Linna's lips
 

Crow:  *sigh* On three, 1... 2... 3...
All:   (bored) Which ones, Sylia...?
Mike:   Well, now it's just getting *old*...
 

>and seeking its counterpart.
 

Mike:  (demon voice) I am the Key Master.
Crow:  (other demon) And I am the Gate Keeper.
Tom:   (deep voice) And this, is CNN.
 

>Linna responded by reaching up and running her hands along Sylia's sides,
>working her way beneath the elder woman's heavy breasts. Sylia moaned with
>appreciation for Linna's deft movements.
 

Tom:   She's a quick learner, I regret to say...
 

>        "Um, Sylia?" Nene said. "I thought _Mackie_ was the one Linna
>was supposed to have sex with."
 

Mike:  Oh, those delightful lesbian newbies! What *will* they do next?
Crow:  Each other, it looks like...
Mike:  (laughs) I guess so!
 

>        Sylia nodded, pulling away reluctantly from Linna, who gasped
>with the separation. "You're feeling really, really hot, aren't you?"
>she husked, taking her hands and forcing them down while she could
>still control herself.
>        "Uh, uh, uh-huh," Linna gasped, already lost in a sea of hormones.
 

Tom:   I thought she was past puberty...
Mike:  Enough with the adolescent jokes, we might need them later!
Bots:  Okay, okay...
 

>       "Well, dear, there's only one cure for that heat you're feeling,"
>Sylia said,
 

Crow:  Mylanta.
Tom:   (imitates rimshot) Bum-bum, bum, ching!
 

>"and it's attatched to that nice, horny young man lying on the bed
>there."
 

Mike:  Oh, good, as long as it wasn't *attached*...
Crow:  Mackie's got a cold compress surgically attached to him?
 

>Standing her up, Sylia walked Linna over to the bed, pausing only to
>remove the crumpled clothing from around her neck. "Look at that beautiful
>cock," Sylia whispered in Linna's ear.
 

Tom:   Yes, rightly so, it *is* a champion rooster...
 

>"Wouldn't you like to know how it feels to have it in your mouth,
 

Mike:  (as Linna) No.
 

>to lick it like a popsicle,
 

Mike:  (as Linna) No!
 

>suck it down like a bottle of Jolt Cola,
 

Mike:  (as Linna) NO!!!
Bots:  Plug, plug!
 

>and feel its hot, salty cum shooting down your throat and into your
>hot stomach?"
 

Tom:   Gee, that ought to convince Linna, if nothing else...
Mike:  (as Linna) Well, when you put it *that* way... (makes retching and
vomiting sounds)
 

>        Linna nodded, trembling with
 

Crow:  ... delerium.
 

>desire.
 

Tom:   Same thing.
 

>        "Then try it," Sylia said, and, taking Linna's hand, she
>guided it to Mackie's throbbing hard-on, letting it stroke the length
>gently.
 

Crow:  I've said before, I know, but... ah, just one more time... Short
trip, isn't it, Linna?
Mike:  (laugh)
 

>Mackie moaned, and more cum spurted from the cockhead, spraying over his
>chest and face.
 

Mike:  Yep, we've entered a whole new weird area, gentlemen!
 

>        "Taste it," Sylia whispered, and Linna needed no further
>encouragement.
 

Tom:   Poor girl, she's gone mad from all the strange goin'-ons...
Mike:  No significant loss.
 

>Slowly, she lowered herself to the bed beside him, and she began licking
>the cum splotches from Mackie's steaming body.
 

Crow:  Getting even *more* unpleasant, Mike...
 

>Mackie moaned, "Oh, Linna..." as she licked his nipples, slurping up
>the globules of spunk that had gathered on his chest.
 

Tom:   Now, it's pure hell. Definitely, *definitely* hell...
Crow:  (as Rocko from 'Rocko's Modern Life!') Spunky! SPUNKY!!!
 

>        Sylia backed off, collapsing onto her ass,
 

Crow:  And she rode her donkey off into the sunset, the end.
All:   (singing) Happy trails, to yoooou...
 

>no longer able to repress her own chemically enhanced urges.
 

Mike:  See, this is why 'Ecstasy' is illegal. I *told* you they had good
reasons...
Crow:  Man, too bad, Servo! Maybe you should close down the production line
now...
Tom:   Oh, *fine*! I'll still make a good haul from the bootleg Viagra...
Mike:  Uh, would you boys mind...?
Bots:  No! No comment!
Mike:  (shakes head in disbelief)
 

>"Oooohh..." she moaned. "Nene... Priss.... help me..."
 

Tom:   (as Sylia) What... the hell... have I been... *gasp* DOING!?!
Crow:  Sylia forgot to take her medication again! See what happens?
 

>        Priss gasped. "Hey, I ain't no lez!" she huffed. "Help
>yourself, you're the one with the toys!"
 

Crow:  (as Sylia) FINE! I'll just take my strap-on, massaging lotion, and
edible underpants, and GO HOME!! *sob*
Mike:  (laughs) Aww, poor Sylia!
 

>        "Oh, come on, Priss," Nene said, taking Priss' hand and
>guiding it beneath her skirt, bare titties bouncing with excitement,
>"it's not so bad as all that!
 

Tom:   (as Nene) It gets even *worse*!
 

>Why, in fact..." Nene smiled slyly, whispering, "I may not be a man, but I
>can fuck you like no man has ever fucked you before."
 

Mike:   Mainly because she is a *woman*, but why nitpick?
Crow:  kd Lang tours Tokyo, ladies and gentlemen! Tickets go on sale now!
 

>        "Wha?" Priss said, shrinking away.
 

Tom:   (as Priss) ... the hell do you have on your teeth? *Gross!*
Crow:  Damn pubic hairs!
Mike:  Crow, ick...
(they sit in their usual seats)
 

>        "Yesssss," Sylia husked, grasping the double-headed dildo and
>handing it to Nene.
 

Mike:  Quiet, please! This is a delicate procedure we're witnessing!
Crow:  (as a doctor) Scalpel...
Tom:   (as a nurse) Scalpel.
Crow:  (as doctor) C-clamps...
Tom:   (as nurse) C-clamps.
Crow:  (as doctor) Double-headed dildo...
Tom:   (as nurse) Doctor?
Mike:  (laughs)
 

>"Yes, Nene, please, please fuck Sweetling for me. Yes," she said, licking
>her lips, "yes, Nene, together we'll make Sweetling beg for more... and
>we'll let Mackie finish her off."
 

Crow:  (as Sylia) That way's best, I *hate* leftovers...
 

>       "You are NOT going to put that fucking thing in me!" Priss said.
 

All:   (laugh)
Mike:  Well, it *is* built for that sort of purpose, Priss...
Tom:   *Enough* with the unintentional puns, already!
 

>"There ain't no way in hell I'm going to-"
 

Crow:  (as Priss) ... advance my career *this* way! That's sexual
harassment, and I *don't* have to take it!
 

>        "OOOOOOOH MY GOD!!!"
 

Tom:   Where? WHERE!?! Notify the Vatican!
Crow:  Inbound Second Coming! Alert the Pope!
 

>Linna screamed from the bed. Somehow,
 

Mike:  ... the plot held together!
Crow:  For this long? Wow! I was *sure* it was dead!
 

>while she had been working over Mackie's body, her crotch had come
>close to Mackie's nose, and smelling her soaked pussy, he had leaned
>up and begun eating with a will.
 

Tom:   (as Linna) Oh, that is *so* nice-- OUCH!! NO TEETH, HENTAI!!
 

>Priss stopped and stared, not noticing Sylia and Nene approacing
>behind her.
 

Mike:  (picks up Tom)
All:   (imitate theme from 'Jaws') ... bum BUM......... bum BUM.....
(they exit the theater)

[End Part 3, Roll Part 4]